SEEKING RESPITE

Being a cranky old man according to TLW (The Little Woman), I need some kind of respite. With a precocious 5-year-old, 9-month-old, a tired old dog who can’t seem to climb up to the couch anymore, and yes, a TLW who is constantly under siege from doing motherly things whether they are needed or not, I need to seek respite, a refuge from the onslaught of the little ones.

Grandpa is asked to do all kinds of things from tickling, playing catch up to the little creature that now crawls, rescuing the dog from the 9-month-old terrorist, looking for pacifiers, feeding bottles, taking orders from my 5-year-old commander as well as TLW, searching for the little terrorist as he wanders while I get distracted, there is only one thing to do-hide.

I have found two places to go to for respite, one is upstairs and one is downstairs! Both these places have locks, to secure my peace. They are the bathrooms, secluded, cozy, and even have running water! I am now not afraid to use them, and I will if needed!

Don’t get me wrong, I love everybody in the house, and I enjoy the activities, I just wish they would not start so unexpectedly!

This morning I came down for my coffee and who do I see to greet me but the terrorist, Bobby, AKA Mussels Marinara sitting in Grandma’s lap. He greets me with a big smile and reaches for me, which makes my day the first thing I do. Finally, he roams the floor and I sit in the living room while he has the freedom to roam. This is assuming each room has an eye out for him. Suddenly I hear a crash, and I look up, and sure enough, Mussel’s is nowhere to be seen!

“Ellen, are you in the kitchen?”

Another crash! I jump up to investigate, and there he is, emptying the dog food from the bowl. I run and remove him from the crime scene and gather up the food, grab Mussels and take him out of the kitchen, barricading the room so he can’t re-enter and create more mischief and as I do, he spits up all over the floor. That flight home is looking good right about now!

“JOE! Are you watching him down there?”

“I really wish you told me you were going upstairs!”

So, Linus and me, the two cranky old men of the house retreated to the bathroom where we dear to stay just long enough before someone catches on.