Today is a sad day for sure: a friend of mine is in silent grief, having lost someone unexpectedly a few years ago. We have all lost someone: we have all had the sadness of saying goodbye. But the sadness of not getting a chance to say goodbye can be catastrophic, leaving emptiness and a void that will never be filled.
I know the feeling having lost a child, one who passed on before we could get back to the hospital and say goodbye. The sudden shock, and the feeling of a punch in the stomach never dies away, and only haunts.
There is nothing anyone can say about those kinds of things: there are no words of consolation, just anger and questions. You hope that the passing of time will help distill the memories and allow us to go on, but that is not always the case. My friend has memories, will keep those alive because memories are the closest we have to the deceased, and so we hold them close.
We cope: we talk to the deceased, just like my friend. We allow them to join our lives within our hearts and souls. We do things for them, some things are little and some are large. Me, I built a garden in my son’s memory, my friend has built one too. Maybe gardens are the closest to God we can get everyday aside from prayer. When it is our time to pass, we will be interred in the earth too, God’s earth, and we will hopefully meet again and finish saying: “I love you”.
But while we are alive, we must remember to live. That is the gift from God that can’t be wasted, squandered, or thrown away. I like to live, enjoy life and take a great deal of solace in my memories of my son, my friend does too. Laughter is still employed, still used, still enjoyed by my friend. I know because that person can make me laugh, and so I enjoy life too.
1 comment:
We not only see through each other's eyes, We feel through each other's hearts. God Bless all of the bereaved Parents.
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