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Tuesday, August 08, 2017

SAYING GOODBYE


Five days ago, I attended a wake for a young lady who was part of the Guardianship Program. She, like my daughter was non-verbal for the most part, was dealing with dementia and had other issues she was dealing with.

After meeting about her end of life and what the state needs from us, I signed off on a MANAGEMENT OF LIFE SUSTAINING TREATMENT. (MOLST)

Sadly, she passed and so I went to her wake.

Being who I am, I have to get somewhere early, not let anyone wait on me. I pulled into the funeral home parking lot and waited the few minutes. A car pulled up and two gentlemen climb out of the car, one in his 80’s and one in his 60’s. The elderly man limp very noticeably and both men entered the funeral home.

I decided to enter behind the two men and noticed they sat up front in the first row where family usually sits, I knew the older gentleman was the young ladies father and the younger one her brother. I approached them after visiting the casket and turned to offer my condolence, shook hands and sat in the next row. I could see the terrible pain he was in because of the loss of his sweet child, and it moved me.

When you deal with issues like guardianship, sometimes the facts are not all there. Here was a father that did not undertake being his daughter’s primary guardian, instead he left it to the agency, and I assumed he didn’t care enough. I was so wrong.

As I sat behind him he turned to me and said he wanted to thank me for whatever I did for his little girl. He said he had 3 sons and his only daughter. I thought, wow, like me. He went on and said the year 2017 was not treating him well. The past March, his youngest son was at a karaoke show and was singing, and when he was done he left the stage to sit down and collapsed from a massive heart attack and died! How crushing can life be? The saddest part was that the sister and the brother who died were very close.

The father explained to me that he was at one time the primary guardian, but his first wife died and he remarried, and due to his age ad disabilities, could no longer act as the primary guardian, so renounced guardianship in favor of the agency.

I guess I jumped to a conclusion without the dance being over.



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