WAITING LONG ENOUGH TAKES TIME.

I was putting off writing today’s blog for a want to write about something, and it finally hit me: Mom and her card! I am trying to say all there is to say in a card that has sentiment and fun.

I am currently working on the card for my Mom’s 90th birthday on May 10th. The trouble with that is I have to walk a fine line between being appropriate and having fun.

My Mother is like potluck, wrapped in a lasagna, encased in a string of her braggiola.

All our lives her five children believed in the Immaculate Conception, and if you witnessed how she acted, you would think so too. I have old family photos of her standing in front of religious statues. One photo shows her just sitting and thinking. I want to add to the photo a caption: “Five! Five Immaculate Conceptions! What do I do for an encore?”


All of the lessons I learned from her stem from Catholic School or attending Mass. How to behave in other words. Trouble with that for me was I learned my other lessons from my Dad; usually swear words in Italian that would fit various situations. Mom would just undo what Dad did. Somehow, I don’t know for sure if Mom succeeded. You should really ask TLW (The Little Woman).

Of course, my sisters never had those problems. I suspect they were all adopted. It would explain a lot.

Looking back at all the photos, Immaculate Conception or no Immaculate Conception, I was always playing with fire, on the verge of getting smacked down into the jaws of hell for my behavior. When I reached the age of reason, about 35, I realized that if I were good, I’d get chocolate cake. Now when I’m good, all I get are the same old 100 calories snacks from TLW. It comes with 1% milk.

And so, back to the memories, of wooden spoons, warnings, a few “Wait till your father comes home’ and my favorite: “I hope you have kids just like you.”

Amen

PS That’s me crying on the swing. Mom told me I was on the down swing. Also, I apologize for the dirty cartoon and the Chris Rock thing, ladies.