SAY WHAT?

As an innocent victim of marriage, I have inherited a family friend. TLW (The Little Woman) had an Aunt Mary, (Everyone should have one) who had a friend named Rosetta. When Aunt Mary passed on a few years ago, TLW and particularly her older sister Maureen decided to get in touch with Rosetta. Rosetta and Aunt Mary were very close old friends.

Rosetta a widow; is a sweet lady that has an extreme hearing loss. Rosetta will feed you, entertain you, and in my case, find something for me to fix while visiting.

The other day, the phone rang. It was Rosetta. Talking to Rosetta on the phone is like talking to a Chinese cab driver that does not speak English. You can get in the cab, but it won’t get you anywhere you want to go.

Rosetta: “Hello? Who’s this? Can I speak with Ellie? Please? Its Rosetta!”

Me: Oh hi, Rosetta, how are you?”

Rosetta: “Who’s this? Michael? Joe? Is this Ellie?”

Me: “I’ll get her.” (A frown on TLW’s face as she takes the phone.)

TLW: “Hello, Rosetta, Its Ellen.”

Rosetta: “Who’s this?”

TLW: “Ellen”

Rosetta: “Is this Joe?”

TLW: “No it’s Ellen.”

Rosetta: “Michael? How are you dear?”

TLW: “ELLEN!”

I’m starting to laugh.

Rosetta: “Oh Joe, how are you!”

TLW: “ELLEN! ITS ELLEN!”

I’m starting to uncontrollably laugh.

Rosetta: “I’m looking to speak with Ellen, Joe or Michael.”

TLW: “Its Ellen, ELLEN, ELLLLLEN!”

I’m on the floor, holding my sides, laughing. TLW turns her back on me.

Rosetta: “Would you do me a favor please, and have Ellen call me back? Thank you dear.”

TLW: “OK.”