The week prior to Mother’s Day, I went to the store to shop for TLW (The Little Woman) for a Mother’s Day dinner. I make dinner for her, even though she is not my mother, but sure acts like it, sans wooden spoon!
Looking as disoriented as possible, I started to stroll the aisles to get what I needed. My supermarket likes to play mind games with me, put olives in two different places, give me a hard time at the self-check out and sometimes the people are even nice to me. The fish guy, for instance, loves me, I go to his display and I’m the only one all day who will. They put the fish next to the red meat section, thinking maybe someone will buy fish by mistake.
As I am strolling toward the chicken, (She wants Chicken Francaise) I fall behind this woman who is pushing a cart with one hand and from the looks of things, has an ear ache in her right ear. Slowly she is pushing then stopping her cart, holding her right ear and on the loud speaker, they are advertising the moment’s specials. LOUD and clear comes the news, with little editorial remarks to supplement the deals, like: Ready for the grill! Just pop these rib eyes on your bar-b-q and you are ready! Only $X a pound!” Then a lady comes on and tells us all about the produce specials. How come men meat, women produce? Symbolic?
Since she is start and stopping, I decide to go around her, and discover she is really on her cell phone! As I pass, she raised her head up with a prayer tilt and yells: “Will you shut the #^(% UP?”
Apparently, the noise from the loud speaker was making it hard for her to hear on the cell phone.
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