LIKE A FINE WINE?

Every morning when I get up, I go down for my coffee and read the newspapers. I write this blogue first and then turn to Newsday or the Daily News. The Daily News has been a habit of mine for decades, since Dad used to give me a nickel and send me across the street to Sam’s Candy store on Stone Avenue and Hull Street, now a store-front church in Brooklyn.

In Newsday I read the news first and then the sports pages, but the opposite occurs when reading the Daily News. Since I was an avid Brooklyn Dodgers fan growing up, it was the first thing I looked for. I used to watch my Dad read the same paper and that is exactly what he did, with his coffee and a cigarette, he would pinch the pages as he went backwards through the paper!

So I will every morning read the papers. But to read them and get comfortable with the type, I need to take off my glasses first. So I debate where to lay the glasses. Putting them on my table next to me is not a good idea since that is where my coffee is, and I’m afraid of breaking them or spilling the coffee as I place the cup down after sipping it by hitting the glasses. I don’t like to put them in my pocket because I run the risk of ripping my shirt, and on my lap is out of the question. Holding the glasses in my hand is a bad idea because the lenses get smudged. This goes on when I work on my computer, reading a manuscript or information, I am constantly flipping my glasses on and off my nose, and it is annoying!

Then I got this idea. Why don’t I get an eyeglass holder and then the glasses can hang around my neck off my chest. This is good because it is convenient; I look my age, and who cares, right?

I tell my significant other, TLW (The Little Woman) and she starts to smirk. I look at her and her smirking is growing expeditiously, and without cessation!

”What’s wrong?”

 “You want an eyeglass holder!?”

“Well yes, it will be convenient when I constantly take off my glasses while reading.”

“That's for old people.”

“But it IS convenient.”

“It will make you look OLD!”

“I DON'T care.”

“Did you look in the junk drawer?” (Every family should have a junk drawer: it is where you keep the little things in life you want to save in case you need them. If you throw them out, you will need the junk someday, if you don’t throw them out, you will NEVER need to use them-guaranteed.)

I walk away feeling a sense of inadequacy, a loss of my youth, and a need to NOT let it bother me, even if it does. Now I am committed to wearing it and I must overcome my sense of humiliation, in other words, TLW is screwing with my simple mind once more! Then it hits me! TLW did say: “Did you look in the junk drawer?”, did she not? Why would she have an eyeglass holder in the junk drawer, unless she owned it herself once?

Anyway, today is TLC’s (The Lovely Courtney’s) birthday! She doesn’t use eyeglass holders and I hope she never needs them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COURTNEY!

I hope you enjoy your day, and the only wrinkles you ever have are the ones you can iron out!

Love,

Joe and Ellen!