THERE’S AN ECHO IN MY HEAD!

Funny how when we lose our parents, they never really leave us. All the years of parental love and devotion came in examples and sayings that seemed to stick with us.

Mom was more of a teacher, while dad was more of a demonstrator. The difference was a physical one. Mom had things to say: “The way you make your bed, is the way you sleep in it.” To this day, although I understand the context, I still can’t see it in my mind! Every morning when I make the bed, careful to fluff the pillows, keep the sheets straight and the bed spread turned perfectly, every morning when I get up, everything hurts!

Dad like I aid was a demonstrator, which I quickly learned could be to my advantage.

“Get out there and sweep the patio.”

Out I go, and of course my mind would wander, rather than just sweep and get it over with, I knew there was a technique to avoid the task. I start out very slow, and sweep the same spot a few times and out comes dad.

“Give me that broom, fongoola!” He then immediately sweeps the patio, all of it, giving me a dialogue while he demonstrates the art of sweeping the patio. “Here like this, then you gather it like this and then…”

Mom never demonstrated, she took out a wooden spoon, which insured that I would do the task right, only once and to her satisfaction. Mom said dad never listened to her, she was right.

When Mom wanted to discipline, she used ‘Gentle Persuasion’. One would think: kind, gentle prodding, perhaps with a firm attitude. No: that is what I named her wooden spoon. She used to get my cooperation or attention with the instrument. I named all her wooden spoons through the years. There was; “The MM Kind and Firm”, one of her favorites, “The MM Or Else”, the ever present “MM De-aggrevator” and the “MM Terminator” which lasted for a LONG time. You must be wondering what the MM designation means. It was my habit to name her spoons like the US Navy named their ships. “MM” stands for “Momma Mia’s.”

Before she passed, I thought ‘Why not present her with an “Official” golden wooden spoon; just like the one, I gave her for her 75th birthday, but with a Plaque, with the inscription: “To Mom’s everywhere. For Pasta and Obedience, as long as both are needed. The MM Gentle Persuasian II. With Love While Still In Pain, Your Favorite Son.” I was her only son.

To the day she died, whenever she bought a new wooden spoon, she would come to my house to hit me with it, just to be sure she had quality, and hadn’t lost her touch, and remind me that I was not too big or too old to get hit by her.

Some of mom’s favorite usage of the King’s English to help me get on the same page as mom:

“WAIT, JUST WAIT TIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!

“WAIT TIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME”

“WAIT TIL YOU HAVE CHILDREN!”

And my favorite…

“I hope you have a child, just like you.”