DOESN’T ANYONE DO TEA ANYMORE?

Today I decided on the spur of the moment to go to the gym and get a little workout. It is nearby, convenient and sometimes all the equipment works at once! I go to Retro Fitness, a brand that is established all over the US, so everywhere I go in the US, just doesn’t happen to have one. This is good, it is a good excuse to not workout and sweat.

Years ago, when I was still working, I used to get up at 4:00 AM to go to Extreme Fitness, which at that hour felt like extreme torture. When I started to fall asleep before I got to work driving, I realized it wasn’t working out so I stopped. I liked to get my naps in at work in those days because my office chair was comfortable.

Here I am with one of those girls, only the latest and best equipment.

So today as I enter the chamber of sweat and pain, what do I see? Why every young man of high school and college age working out, middle-aged men pumping iron and old men, just resting on the equipment. These old guys are obviously married and their wives are at home, so they need somewhere to go until bedtime.

My question to you is: WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL THESE YOUNG PEOPLE AND MIDDLE-AGED DOING THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE AT 1:30 IN THE AFTERNOON? Is unemployment that bad? Are there no schools in session? Are the shelters so overcrowded? Are there that many wives at home?

The young college and/or high school kids’ workout in pairs, that is; one watches and one does the workout and tells his partner how it is going. This cuts down on the logjam on the equipment. The middle-aged guys build muscle and show off tattoos, running from one piece of equipment to another, and running seems to be part of the routine. But the old guys? Well, grandpa seems to be just fine, resting his ass on one piece of equipment while his buddy sits and rests on another piece of cardio salvation. And what are they talking about? COOKING! Yes, the steak they made, the broccoli rabe they sautéed and just about the precise amount of garlic they still have left over after they submerged the broccoli in it.

But the answer to my own question might be right in front of my nose. (That entails considerable distance!) Young ladies! Yes, the ones in the tight spandex and I-phone with long hair. She goes from one piece of equipment to the next, walking like a runway model, pretending she doesn’t notice the stares and drooling about her. She does not look one in the eye, but her manner says, look at me, aren’t I beautiful, now go home to your cranky wife and dream! I personally don’t stare, but I’ve been told by others.