THERE'S THAT FIRST TIME!

The old adage: "There's a first time for everything", has reared its ugly head.

This past Sunday as I went to the diner with TLW (The Little Woman), to enjoy our usual Sunday morning breakfast. One of the things that come with the breakfast is the free juice of your choice, either apple, orange or tomato, served up along with your first cup of coffee.

As we sat, the first thing to annoy me was a fly. WHAT THE HELL IS A FLY DOING, FLYING AROUND IN DECEMBER, DAYS AWAY FROM THE FIRST DAY OF WINTER???

OK, I'm a big boy or an old man, so I'll get over it. We ask for tomato juice because we didn't want to knock ourselves in the head thinking we could have had a V-8!

Out comes the juice for TLW and me when I take a sip and am shocked. Having put in pepper and a little salt, I wondered just how much pepper I put into it, as a shocking spiciness goes from my lips all the down to my stomach, leaving me in surprise. I watch TLW take her first sip, and she raises her eyebrows and looks at me. "Ah!" I thought I didn't put in too much pepper after all! She's willing to brave it out, I'm not. I call over the waitress and tell her the drink is loaded. Her eyes brighten and realize what happened, she had taken the wrong juice, the one with the Bloody Mary mix instead of the tomato juice.

Ok, she brings me a new juice with a straw in it, and sure enough, it is right. Immediately following the delivery of the juice my cheese omelet comes with the toast etc., and the food is placed down in front of me. I start to make room for the toast, to bring it closer when my arm hits the straw knocking over the tomato juice onto my lap, seat and floor, and as I am reaching for a napkin, I knock off the fork onto the floor! That was the first time in my life I ever did anything like that!

Totally disorganized, embarrassed and surprised, I don't know what to do first, the waitress running off to get towelettes and towels to soak up the tomato juice. I scamper all over, wiping my pants, seat and trying to get my fork off the floor, I realized: I should have ordered a V-8!