WHEELS

You don't 'Park' it, you carry it in your pocket.

After my accident, I drove the busted car to an auto repair place to fix it and was told it will take two to three weeks. Fine, I am getting a rental car for thirty dollars a day, so, for a few weeks, I make do.

Arriving at Enterprise I meet the agent who will set up the car rental. They actually meet me there at the auto repair place and drive me to their office where the transaction takes place. The car is deemed drivable even though it looks like a tank smashed into it!

As the agent is on the phone setting up the billing with The Hartford, he says:

“The client is right here, would you like to speak with him?” and hands me the phone.

Handing me the phone is never good, always trouble and sure enough, it was. The Hartford person on the other end was a bit of a pain in the ass, to say the least. Here I am trying to take care of business in a quick and orderly manner and she wants to talk to me.

“Did you say your car is drivable?”

”Yes I did, but I didn’t say it is safe. I’m afraid the door will open on me as I am driving.”

She gives me some grief, telling me that the insurance will not pay until the car goes under repair, puts me on hold and I wait while she calls the repair shop. She calls back and says OK.

The Enterprise guy tells me that there is nothing available except a Mini Cooper, a rather nice looking silver and black convertible. You don't 'Park' it, you carry it in your pocket. They can lease it to me for $62 a day! Nothing doing, I’m only spending the allotment of $30 the insurance company is willing to pay. We compromise on $46 a day and I want to return it first thing in the morning for a cheaper car. It would make me look like a cool nerd, cramped into this small sardine can with the latest gadgetry and innovations that will take a 5-year old his lifetime to learn. Although it is filled with nice features, two things you cannot do: 1) exhaling and 2) last long listening to the loud TICK-TOCK of the directional. This sound is so loud it is madding. Driving it, it became so annoying I passed the turn to my house so I wouldn’t have to hear it.

That night the Little Woman remarked that it was a convertible, something I suspected.

“Yes, I know it is, that will help me pick up little old ladies, but only the ones without walkers, there is no trunk space for a walker or cane.