THE BROWN TRUCK COMPANY

Main course!

A year ago last Christmas, TLW (The Little Woman) gave me a present of lobster dinners, that we both share. I ordered from a catalog and had some left over credit for another occasion other than our anniversary, when we shared it last. So for Valentines Day, we decided to order another dinner and went on the Internet to order. The order was placed and we were told to expect the order to arrive the day before Valentines Day. 

shrimp cocktail

That was Wednesday the 13^th, and sure enough, as Friday the 13^th arrived on a Wednesday, it never arrived. We have no reservations for dinner for the 14^th, no lobster in the freezer and no hope of being happy or fed.

Lobster bisque

We checked the website of UPS, the so-called carrier that has a tracking number, and it says the shipment is on the truck, having been checked in at 7:35 am on the 13^th and to expect delivery by the end of the day.

All day long we checked for the whereabouts of the shipment, and nothing doing, same story, no delivery but it is on the truck, or so they say!

We go to bed that night and I get up this next morning and look outside to see if they left it on my doorstep, and no, they didn’t. I check with TLW, and she says she checked the website and now they claim they left it behind, it was never on the truck! Do you think these morons will be delivering my package first thing this morning?

The thing weights 17 pounds, is not small and they now admit that they forgot to put it on the truck! If you see it, please let me know, and to the company: UPS-UP yours! Sorry folks, just a little anger.

SHE JUST KEEPS ON TICKING!

If you read the Long Island Newsday on February 13, then you read about the Brookhaven Town Supervisor Edward Romaine being away during the worst blizzard in years, and the mounting criticism from the public. Old Ed was in Jamaica sunning himself and did not need to shovel anything except the content of his excuses to the people who fumed about being snowed in almost a week after the big storm hit.

Mr. Romaine, without his nice tan

Now let us focus our attention to Highway Department acting superintendent Michael Murphy. Mr. Murphy, the fearless leader of the ‘Gang of Few’ who plow when they get a chance, was away during the blizzard, or at least not leading his men in a brave charge to stem the tide of defeat the Highway Department suffered from the storm.

When the storm hit on Friday, he stayed home, had a toothache, or so we were told. He did not return to work until the following Tuesday, to lead us all out of the mounds of snow that lay untouched by human machinery or shovel. Apparently a toothache is a: “Family emergency”, or toothache as he said, or someone.

Mr. Murphy was unavailable for a photo, due to a family emergency!

My God! This all sounds like a lack of leadership! Did I dare say that, a lack of leadership? Mr. Romaine stated: that the highway department is NOT his responsibility!  So, no one was around to lead and no one will take responsibility, and no one is worth a plug nickel. I have a solution.

TLW (The Little Woman) went to work on Monday and Tuesday, after driving home in Friday’s storm from work. She bravely left the house without my wanting her to, to fulfill her obligation at the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Co., helping people open accounts, close accounts and do their banking business. SHE was on the job, while Mr. Romaine relaxed under the Jamaican sun and Mr. Murphy nursed his tooth, (“family emergency”), I pity his family.

TLW with her staff!

Well, since TLW shows up and honors her commitments, it is only logical that the town put her in charge. She does get things done, is fiscally responsible, and has guts, something the aforementioned gentle men don't have. She takes a licking but just keeps on ticking!

I THINK I WANT TO HIT SOMEBODY!

As I write this it is Sunday morning, 2 days after the big blizzard. Yesterday was spent shoveling snow and having good neighbors come by and help out. It is a bad feeling knowing that you may not be able to hit the roads again for a few more days, but no one is sure. I don’t care how much snow you got, once it goes over 12 inches, it’s a burden! We have a very big burden in our driveway.

My backyard!

The foot hurts from an auto accident I was involved in many years ago and the pain is intensified from the cold, causing my ankle to stiffen, and hurt so bad it feels like someone stuck it with a knife! From shoveling, my chest gets this funny feeling because it was stapled together along the front, and whenever I do heavy lifting like snow, I can feel the chest cavity shift where the stapling was causing pain also.

So I decided to go outside and survey the situation since the plow came down last night, and TLW (The Little Woman) told me they had plowed it back into the driveway into a wall about 8 feet by 3 feet high sitting at the end of the driveway, all ice, and snow, water-logged into slush and very heavy, making it difficult to move.

I put on my winter stuff and go outside, looking at the footing in the driveway since the over night was frigid. It is all ice and treacherous, as I survey the surface. I walk down to the entrance of the driveway and stand on the plowed snow, look down the street and see this monstrous plow coming down the street on the other side of the road, pilling in the snow back onto the shoveled driveways!

As the plow moves ahead past me at about 30 to 40 mph, I look up into the cab and watch the driver, who knows what he is doing and just has this real happy face on. I know he is doing what is right, I know he is doing his job, and I know we need the street plowed. I still want to kill him! I know, I need to.

SHE NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME!

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On Saturday afternoon, right after the blizzard, my cell phone rang while TLW (The Little Woman) was on the phone talking to one of her sibs. It was #2 Son in his quest to find his mother. I didn’t recognize the phone number from the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Eh, how ya doin?” (Do you know what tuition cost these days?)

“Hi Mike!”

“You guys home?”

“Your mother is on the phone with someone.”

“Oh! Could you tell her to call this number when she is done?”

I write the number down and tell TLW when her call is over.

“Your son wants you to call him at this number, as I rattle off the phone number.

“Are you sure it’s 51 and not 61?” she asks.

“That is what I wrote down.” I respond with uncertainty.

“I have it as 61!”

“OK, use that one, I probably made a mistake.”

She dials her phone number and things go downhill.

“Hi, I’m calling for Michael?”

“I’m Michael, who’s this?”

“Michael’s Mom.”

“My mom is dead!”

“Oh! I’m sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number! “

The other party mentions where he lives and TLW says…

“Oh! I’m from the Ronkonkoma area! How did you do with the snow?” she says.  He responds and…

“Oh my goodness, really! Well thank you for letting me talk to you.”

Hanging up she says to me:

“You wanted me to do that right, be nice and not just hang up?”

“What time did you invite him for dinner?”

A HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY IT WAS!

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

-Anonymous

Dear Ellen,

Give me a flower, every time I think of you, and we will walk through that garden for an eternity. And each time you think you need me, I will hold that dear to my heart, because I know you love me in spite of my inadequacies.

I love you,

Joe

For over 41 years we have shared the best of times and the worst of times. We have dreamt and watch some dreams shattered, and some dreams grow beyond expectations! In it all we have managed to live our lives for one another. That is the key I think, to live for that other person you committed to for the rest of their life. What could be better than that? It is to hold hands forever, to anticipate a sweet kiss!

We have shared the greatest gift of love, our children, and our commitment to them says: I love you because we had these children out of love and a willingness to want to be together forever. It is a way to celebrate the future.

There is very little in life I need, I have it all, it is not money or a fancy car or even a big house, but that something special, being at home anywhere in the world she is. Home is where the heart resides, and that is in her being, her presence, and her love.

There are many women in this world who are beautiful and filled with love. All too often they will be hurt, and that is sad, because a woman is capable of great things, and the greatest is love. To betray a woman is to damn one’s own truth and sincerity. To abuse someone who is capable of loving you makes you less than a human, let alone a man. When you betray you cheat yourself, you have stopped loving and have stopped respecting the one who is devoted to you! How sad.

And so I look forward to the coming years, whatever moments we have left together, because they will be better than the ones past, because love grows and becomes deeper. There are many husbands out there I am sure that feel the same way I do: I don’t think I’m special in that regard, but I have to tell her every once in a while that I DO love her, and will tomorrow too. My wife doesn’t need to be told, I love her, she deserves it. Yesterday was a celebration of present love and tomorrow a pleasant dream of more.

We will share quiet dinners together, vacations and times alone, just the two of us, and we need not talk, just to be there will suffice.

I hope all you who read this have good feelings of love as I do, love has made me happy and grateful, and may yesterday’s expressions of love fill all of your tomorrows.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

It’s that time of the year when we all get mushy and kissy faced. Yes that significant other is now in the spotlight once again.

We’ve been spending Valentines Day together for 42 years, and I recall the first one we spent as a newly married couple.

We were living in a small apartment on Munsell Road in East Patchogue, as she was pregnant with my daughter and I was working in NYC for an ad agency. Going home I had a bouquet of one dozen red roses (her favorite) and a box of Perugina Chocolates called Bacci, in means ‘kiss’ in Italian. This was my first married Valentine’s Day with TLW (The Little Woman) and I was eager to get home.

As I entered the apartment through the kitchen side door, I could smell her cooking, and the cold February night made the light from the kitchen and the wonderful smells, while being greeted by my beautiful wife all very inviting.

I immediately gave her the flowers and the candy, which she opened. Then she gave me my Valentine’s gift. A pair of boxer shorts with cash registers and hearts coming out of them and it said: “Love hits the jackpot!”

But the good news was that and I never forgot it when I get her chocolate candies is that she doesn’t care for chocolate candies!

She’s still beautiful and doesn’t like chocolate, so I always get her the best I can find!

CAUTION!

If you are a skier, and have one of those dopey stickers on your car that reads: “Pray for snow”, pray that I don’t catch you with a gun!

25” of snow have fallen between February 8, and February 9, AND it is still snowing!

Do you realize how high that is, and how much it will take to remove it?

Since it started, the news shows have nothing but mindless reporting of the same old thing, the pointless pointing out of hills and mounds of snow. It is 5:49 in the morning as I write this, and they are saying the good news is the snow coming down isn’t as heavy! I am so sick of seeing the reports I am enjoying the commercials!

Tonight I was supposed to go to a formal ball, called the Candlelight Ball, which was cancelled already because of Hurricane Sandy! It is a fund-raiser for developmentally disabled people.

My two cars are completely snowed in, the driveway is also, and the prospects that I will be done removing the snow by July look pretty slim, by the time you read this, I should be just clearing off the entranceway to the house. If anyone is looking for me, I’ll see you hopefully by July 4^th. 

A personal appeal to you!

There are people that need to work during storms because they are needed by the general public, cops, firemen, people that work in group homes and nurseries, looking to get to their own families, and unfortunately no one realizes how valuable they truly are, and should be given every chance at doing so. Then there are the sores and banks that keep their employees until regular closing time when they should have been allowed to go home before it became dangerous! There is NO reason to keep a store or bank open when no one is coming to do business and you are putting people at risk because you are greedy.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MISS AVA BEELER!

Miss Beeler is one of my favorite people in the whole world! Sitting with her grandpa Jim, a great guy with a wonderful family, and a fellow blogger.
http://jpantaleno.blogspot.com/

Granddaughter Ava has something to say too, so why don't you take a momnet and look her up.
http://www.avamarieb.blogspot.com/

STICKING IT OUT

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I woke up with a headache from sleeping awkwardly, one that will stay with me all day as I prepared to go for an Ultra-Sound to determine if there are any more stones in my kidneys.

This test requires that I drink 32 ounces of water and have it in me for at least one hour before the test.  Taking two bottles of Poland Springs water from the refrigerator, I start drinking. My test is scheduled for 8:00 am, so I don’t take my coffee or breakfast, and drink down the two bottles of water that I suppose is healthy first thing in the morning. It is disgusting! I need coffee to start my day!

The day promises to be a bad one, with a blizzard due in afternoon (Friday, February 8^th) and the weather already cranky with snow and rain mixing in and creating issues with traffic. So folks, we had bad weather, water without scotch in my system and no breakfast, plus a nagging headache. Fortunately seeing my wife in the morning was the only saving grace I had.

I arrive at the BAB lab (Big And Bad) early and have a book with me. I start t read and can’t concentrate at the beginning but suddenly find myself deep into it when “Honey” arrives. Honey is the receptionist, and has a rather large oral cavity for first thing in the morning! Shattering my calm, my serenity and peace, she starts on me.

“Why are you here, Honey?”

“A ultra sound, Sweetheart.”

She looks at me cross. (She started it.)

“Do you have a prescription Hon?”

“Here you go sweet.” Handing her the prescription.

“You’ll need paper work.” Handing me a clipboard and pen with a form on it.

I fill it out and hand it in and then as the first patient, scheduled for 8:00 am, I wait until 8:20 to be called! (And people wonder why I’m getting cranky.)

In I go and this middle-aged woman tells me to take off my shirt and lie down on the examining table, and to (once again) “open your belt and undo your pants.”

It seems lately whenever I go some place; I am opening my belt and lowering my pants! What the hell is this? Complying I wait for the torture to begin. She’s on schedule for that. As I lay next to a monitor, with a very elaborate keyboard, she takes out a probe that is about the size of a deodorant stick, flat and blunt, attached to a cable that leads to the keyboard and begins. Smearing me with a gel of some kind she sticks the probe into my chest and starts digging for gold, for over an hour! Deep, deep into my chest, scraping my spine she is so far in, then sticks it into my ribs with equal vengeance, all the time telling me to take a deep breath ad then when My head is about to explode, telling me to let it out.

So two new things are added to the mix of; no coffee yet, hunger, water without scotch, headache and lousy weather that I am worried about, and that is having to take a bodacious pee and pain from the probe! I start thinking about the Wendy’s that is located next door and the toilet, as she asks me to turn on my right side with my arm near my head. Now she tries to touch my left side ribs by digging through the right side, maybe having to move a few organs around to do so! And while we are at it, let’s turn over to the left side and see if we can put the organs back after touching the ribs form the right side?

“OK Mr. Del Bloggolo, go to the toilet and try to pass as much water as possible and return here and we will finish the test.” Hitching up the pants and bare-chested I go off to the toilet, return and one more stab and she is done!

I am so happy! I can now get the hell out of there and go eat and have some coffee, and please, NO WATER! I get out to my car and the rain and ice is now sleet, and then ice and then rain, not being able to make its mind up, I trudge to my breakfast.

There are better things I could do to spend a rainy, snowy and icy day. I could have stayed in bed, had breakfast, and even gone back to bed, or my favorite when I get these kinds of weather days: put the TV traffic channel on with a cup of coffee and enjoyed the poor souls do what I did all too often when I worked.

Getting home, I sat in my chair, put on the TV and watched a black and white movie, just like my mood!

JESUS CALLS THROUGH HIS SURROGATE

Every year TLW (The Little Woman) asks me to go to the church and take pictures of the many second grade classes learning about Jesus. There are usually 15 to 18 classes of kids depending how cold the winter was 7 years ago.

This year she was compelled to accompany me, and my un-Godly demeanor to introduce me to the new coordinator who runs the show, having never met me before, so I could begin to take pictures of the little angels, before they turn 13 and go sulk in their rooms and start doing the Devil’s work!

As you know, TLW has dedicated her life to reforming me, and getting me both healthy and close to God. Both those tasks are herculean and perhaps difficult at best, as I go along my merry way.

During the introduction to Jen, the coordinator, TLW says:

“Hi, this is my husband Joe, he will be taking the pictures for the poster of each of your classes!”

Jen: “Oh! I’m sorry that’s a lot to do! God bless you Joe. ”

TLW: “Oh, he needs it!”

Once again, God’s surrogate makes her statement.

YOU MAY ALREADY BE A WINNER!

But probably NOT!

I was looking in my emails a few months ago thinking that the Nigerians must get vacations because they hadn’t sent me any notifications of my email address being selected for millions of dollars. Then all of a sudden… you guessed it, more emails making me a billionaire. There were widows who were dying from cancer with huge bank accounts, bank officials that had unclaimed funds in there keeping and needed to get it away from the unscrupulous, and lucky lotto winners who want to give it to me. (Indeed)

Then to make me understand how true it all is, I got emails from FBI directors, and just doggone honest folk all wanting me to have these millions upon millions of USD, as they put it.

When I feel like it I will answer these requests for my info and give them a favorite ID, that of one Algonquin J. Calhoun, and along with as much personal info they think they can con out of me.

Then I got one from PCH informing me I won $1,000,000.00!

Now of course I worked at PCH, and know how they operate, honestly and truthfully in spite of some bad publicity they once experienced. They do come to your door and knock on it and with cameras, memorialize the event, and yes, people do win! Besides, one of my favorite people, Jan works there and is as honest as they come, and wouldn’t be otherwise.

Then recently in one of my winning emails, they asked for the same personal info and asked for a picture! A picture of me in this mix with a next of kin listed. This is all new to me and so I sent them one, because they asked for it, I want to continue to receive these obscene amounts of money, and frankly besides having the time, I like to think I’m loaded on something besides Jack Daniel Manhattans.

What do you think, does it look like me?

OH SAY, I DON’T SEE!

The Star Spangled Banner

Francis Scott Key wrote the poem in 1814, Defense of Fort Mc Henry. The poem was later put to the music of: The Anacreontic Song, by John Stafford Smith but modified somewhat, and retitled The Star Spangled Banner. In 1931 Congress proclaimed The Star Spangled Banner the U.S. National Anthem

 

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.
O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen thro' the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected, now shines on the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner: O, long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion
A home and a country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash'd out their foul footsteps' pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O, thus be it ever when freemen shall stand,
Between their lov'd homes and the war's desolation;
Blest with vict'ry and peace, may the heav'n-rescued land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made and preserv'd us a nation!

Then conquer we must, when our cause is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust"
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

From Francis Scott Key to Alicia Keys, something is wrong.

The Grammy Award winning Keys performed a lengthy version of the Star Spangled Banner: that lasted about 2:35 at the Super Bowl XLVII.

I’m a traditionalist, I don’t like to fix things that aren’t broke, and the National Anthem isn’t broken. But it seems every year, year after year: some singer takes the stage and completely looses the meaning of the event within the big event.

Alicia Keys sang that anthem like she was dragging her piano uphill, and the guy doing the hand motions for the deaf, had very tired arms by the time it was over, as the singer warbled, then screamed and started to distort the tribute in those 2 minutes and thirty five seconds.

I think about the men and women who have died for this country, giving their children a right to ownership to this nation by their sacrifice. I think of the many parents and grandparents who marched off to war in the 1940’s to Europe and the Pacific, the early 50’s in a police action and of course the Viet Nam war, where so much was sacrificed for so little, and the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and I know that the words to the anthem speak of it, not just that day in Fort McHenry in Maryland, but for all the sacrifices in blood made, in the face of their fear as warriors on a mission they needed to fulfill. How can we not sing it for the reasons meant? This is not a forum to show off how many high notes you can hit, how long you can draw out a note, or how innovative you think you are. IT IS NOT ABOUT THE SINGER’S TALENT, NOT ABOUT THE SINGER, it is about those people that fought and died and some are still not appreciated as it is.

Earlier in the pre-game festivities, singer Jennifer Hudson joined 26 students from Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Conn., to sing a beautiful version of "America the Beautiful."

There are plenty of songs that Alicia Keys can lend her talent to, to bastardize music, but leave that one song alone, it is an audible monument to the land of the brave and the home of the free.

IS MURDER A CRIME?

Time for me to vent!

I am really angry and frustrated when some things happen. 

It all started when I went to my local supermarket STOP & SHOP, mainly because I needed to buy some ingredients for baked macaroni for my daughter. She likes any dish with macaroni, and the more cheese, the more liking she does! Being that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, this was important to do also.

Usually the supermarket, which is huge and disorganized, never has any customers except where I need to go. The cold cuts counter: 40,000,000 people ahead of me, the parking is easy enough, you can practically park on the curb there are so few cars. But this day was Saturday, the day before the Super Bowl. This day, I can’t find a parking space, and have to walk for a while before I get to the store. The place is crowded with people all buying food for the big game.

Now I wonder, why is it such a big game that you have to have parties to eat yourself sick, hear a lot of chit chat and no one is watching the game, just eating?

Well I’m annoyed that I have to fight this unbelievable crowd of shoppers. One of the things I need is elbow macaroni. My daughter insists on all traditional ingredients so I make sure she gets them. I start looking at the 50 million brands of pasta (I remember when it was called macaroni) and there standing in the way is this lady who is on her I-pad or I-phone or I-don’tknowwhat electronic, oblivious to the world holding a small box and fiddling. FINALLY the genius moves and I get my MACARONI! You see that yuppies, I still call it macaroni! MACARONI!  There! I said it again!

Off to the checkout counter to pay, the lines are long and the baskets piled high with food for the next day’s game, America will stuff itself once more needlessly with dips, chile and chips, ribs and wings, soda, beer and wine. Who ever heard of watching football with a glass of wine? Sissies do that.

There is a checkout for 12 items or less, and only two people on it! Oh good! The Lord is with me, the stars are aligned and all is right with the world! WRONG!

The two people are mother and young daughter, with two baskets loaded to the ceiling. Now here is the fun part, there is a long line forming behind me already with guys, all my age all with just a few items. OK DelBloggolo, so what? I tell you so what! The dumb broad is paying for the groceries with about 15 different gift-cards, each had to be swiped and destroyed by young Mr. STOP & SHOP ringing up the order! This took about 15-minutes! The selfish broad never even looked up for fear of catching someone’s eye and maybe getting her throat strangled! Come on folks: stop inconveniencing people because you are too selfish and stupid! If I killed her, would the judge and jury really think it a crime, or a mercy killing?

THE DOCTOR IS IN, 5 CENTS PLEASE!

I sat on the examining table and the good doctor, Dr. Strangeglove entered.

“And how are you today?” he asked.

By now you know how I feel about doctors asking me that question: I mean, why bother? I’ll tell him anyway.

“Well doctor, I was supposed to come next week for my quarterly checkup, when all of a sudden I needed to push up the date by a week.”

“You doing pushups?”

“Oh, sure, anyway, I woke up this past Wednesday and felt this dull pain in my lower back over my right kidney.”  I then went on into the details I gave you all yesterday. I hope you remember them, if not, go to yesterday’s blogue and I’ll wait here for you.

Ah! You’re back!

The good doctor, Dr. Strangeglove then asked me to get off the table and touch the floor. Being an old Catholic, I started to bend my knees.

“No, no, keep you knees stiff and TRY to touch the floor without bending them” says the good doctor, Dr. Strangeglove. Amazingly I do, congratulating myself and wondering if there is any other feat that will make him think I’m in great shape? I thought of standing on my head but realized that I can’t, and never could, besides if I could that could lead to more requests.

“OK, now twist once to the left than once to the right.” I do and he asks:

“No pain or discomfort?”

“No, I feel fine.”

“You passed two kidney stones, why you didn’t scream in pain is amazing but good. BUT… let’s go get some x-rays of your belly. (That’s doctor talk for stomach. I paid attention when I watched Ben Casey as a kid on TV.)

I go into the x-ray room and a nurse or aid tells me to lay on the table and unbuckle my pants and slip them down a bit. This is awkward since we haven’t been introduced yet nor had we had dinner yet! But being a man listening to women all my life, had she told me to stand on one foot and pat my head I would have.

“We are supposed to x-ray your chest.”

“Huh?” It pays to have a college education! “No, the doctor said belly!” (That’s doctor talk for stomach. I paid attention when I watched Dr. Kildare as a kid on TV too!)

“No I think he said chest!”

“No, belly.”

She fiddles with the  x-ray machine while I burn, then drops everything and runs out of the room, comes back and adjusts the target to my stomach. Then the famous last words I dread the most:

“The doctor will be in shortly.”

With my pants dropped down on an x-ray table waiting for the good doctor: Dr. Strangeglove to show up! (You really can’t make this up!)

Finally after at least 10 minutes he finally enters and takes the x-ray.

We head off to his office and the assistant tells him the x-ray is ready. On his computer he calls it up, and there I am on his computer, from the hips to above the knees, looking like I need a meal. He actually called up the x-ray to his computer!

“I don’t see any stones, BUT… I’m sending you for a renal ultrasound. Sometimes the x-rays don’t show all the stones and we want you to not have anymore attacks, so come back next week and we will worry you even more!”

I go home and call for an appointment. The lady on the other end, a nice sort with a heavy Spanish accent asks what I want.

“I need a ultrasound of my kidney.”

“What kind of ultrasound does the prescription say?”

“A renal ultrasound” I reply.

“Ah! For the kidney!”

“Oh! I didn’t know that!”

DR. STRANGEGLOVE, HERE I COME!

But it is my fault: I listen to TLW (The Little Woman) and my older sister (much older) Tessie.

About the size of things

It all started last Wednesday morning. Coming down for my coffee after my shower, I sat in my recliner and things started to go downhill from there.

About how it feels

As I sat reading the morning newspaper, I noticed a dull pain building in the lower right back, where my kidney is. As the morning wore on, the more uncomfortable it became. I felt that maybe I had pulled a muscle and took some aspirin, and the pain started to subside, but not completely. That Monday morning I had been attending a 5-hour meeting at the agency thought maybe I strained it sitting and turning toward the front of the room for five hours. The next evening was my monthly board of directors meeting and that lasted another 3 hours or more. That was a lot of sitting for 2 days in one place. Thursday was worse than Wednesday and TLW tells me to go to the doctor. I tell her I have to see him the next week anyway so I’ll wait.

Dr. Strangeglove

So Wednesday night I took some aspirin and went to bed and slept OK, but when I woke up in the morning, the pain slowly came back. I didn’t take anything and went to visit my mother, who is recovering from her fall at home and doing well. As I sat there, Tessie asks what’s wrong. I tell her and she starts like TLW, “Go to the doctor!” She gives me two over the counter pain killer pills I go home and call Dr. Strangeglove and get an appointment the very next day! The pain is subsiding for the rest of the day. Using a heating pad I just sit in my chair and wait things out.

That evening I go to the toilet and a black fleck comes out, and I think I have to do a better job of cleaning the toilet or that thing just came from me! Then right before I retire for the night, there is one more instance of a black fleck, making me think: Déjà vu, all over again!

The next morning I awaken feeling great! No pain, no discomfort and I think, of course, I have a doctor’s appointment, he’ll send me to a specialist and there is nothing wrong with me.

Tomorrow: I see Dr. Strangeglove.

TRYING ON A NEW PROSPECTIVE

33 years ago when my son Joseph passed, people used to say to me that it too, the feeling of his loss would in time pass, or at least fade somewhat. On January 28^th it marked the 32^nd year of that occasion, and I let the day go un-noticed, unspoken of and unobserved.

I would normally write a small tribute to him, but this year I didn’t, and I am glad I didn’t. It is time to move on, to live my life or what is left of it, to keep the pain in my heart and to share it with my immediate family. I guess it is something I should do, however I do feel a sense of denial that he existed when I do that, and that I should mention it. No one wants to ever lose a child no matter how young or how old.

There used to be a time and place, no so very long ago where I shared my days with that little boy, with his mom and siblings, and I remember how happy that first year was in particular, and how everyday became more uncertain as he got sick. I recall the urgency to see him, to care for him and to speak up for him at North Shore University hospital where he died. Everyday like the season became colder and colder, and one never knew when the storm would hit. He did, he knew, he grabbed my tie at the end, in his little way telling me he knew I was there for him.

When he passed I became conscious of the fact that I was now a parent who was being singled out as one of a child who died. I wondered if people were afraid of talking to me, of being afraid that I would mention him and how would the conversation go? I on my part had no fear about talking about him, his life and death, but only on someone else’s conditions. I would never bring it up: I didn’t want anyone uncomfortable in my presence.

Today when the topic comes up, and people learn for the first time that I lost a child, urgency takes over on their part to say how sorry they are. I feel bad about that awkwardness because they feel the need to convey that to me. But you know, in 100 years from now, all that will be forgotten, all that being unknown and just no longer important. I feel they don’t have to express sorry or sadness, it is just a part of life, and we all are conscious of it, let that be enough. Today as I write this, it is January 31^st, the day we buried him, the day family and friends came to lift us up, my family and I, and their presence was all the consolation I needed, it really helped. I saw cranky old men crying publicly and soft old ladies sobbing quietly, all told me how special that kind of presence is to anyone who loses a child.

So to all those parents who are out there, the ones that lost a child, know that we as a family will always welcome you, feel your lose, and can share our hurts, but tomorrow, tomorrow dawns and so goes on all our lives, and we MUST live on.

SHE COULD REALLY SMOKE!

When one of my baby sisters wasn’t having her coming out party: she was busy letting other things out.

I used to get up at 5:00 AM to catch a 5:45 train to Jamaica Station to change for a north shore line to Syosset every morning when attending college in 1964. Getting up was difficult, and getting up in the winter harder still.

same thing only daytime

Around late January or early February, I was getting up and going into the shower like I always did, (cleanliness was next to Godliness back then too!) and in my bare feet to save on shoes, I would step into the shower.

For months this was working out really well when suddenly, one morning something went terribly wrong! Stepping into the shower, a cold blast of air and a frigid tub floor greeted me, almost knocking me over! The window over the tub was open! Who would leave a window open in the bathroom in the middle of a winter night? Picking up my teeth, and watching the hairs standing up on my arms, legs chest and head (I had some there then) aided by the goose pimples, I reached the windowsill and closed the window, and thought nothing of it.

The next morning I went to my usual routine of shower, still ever mindful of godliness, etc. when I stepped into the tub. Suddenly a Yogi Berra moment occurred. I had Déjà vu’ all over again! SOMEONE HAD LEFT THE #^(&!*% WINDOW OPEN AGAIN! Twice in one week? Either someone was creating awful stink bombs and needed to evacuate in house in a hurry or else something else was going on.

That night while eating dinner, little sis walked by, and I had my answer to the mystery of the open window! I asked: “What time did you go to bed last night?” She answers about 1:00 pm, why?” She was smoking! Smoking in the bathroom around mid-night after Dad went to bed and was leaving the window open, it was a cry to be discovered! I went outside under the bathroom window to look for butts, but none were there! Then it hit me: she was tossing them in the toilet!

STAYING ON TRACK

It was a Friday night, and one of my baby sisters was having her Sweet 16 birthday party. In those days Dads didn’t go out and find a catering hall or a 5-piece band. No, Dads in those days gave you the basement and $15 for potato chips and pizza and some sodas. After all, the basement was meant for coming out parties, it was the social event of your 16 years if you were a girl.

The young new socialite left rules for the family to follow. NO family member was to be downstairs, no spying, laughing at the boy friends, and positively no brother to be seem or heard until Saturday at the earliest.

Mom was to enforce this rule and I was supposedly going to follow it. This was like saying there will be a high mass at the Vatican, but NO pope is allowed! Little did sis understand that I go where the pizza goes.

That night from some odd quirk in the cosmos, I found myself standing in the basement amid a group of boys. They seemed to be in a huddle and my curiosity was peaked as I approached them.

One of them spoke up.

“He’s going to kill himself”, pointing to a friend next to him.

“Oh! Why?”

“Because she won’t talk to him anymore!” pointing to a young lady across the room.

“He better not do it down here, my mother hates a mess, and my sister will have to clean it up!”

The saddened lover looks at me and asks if I have a gun.

“I have a caulking gun, but we’d have to go to the hardware store for caulking.”

“My life is over. Maybe I can lay down on the railroad tracks!” (We lived just down the street from the Bellport Railroad Station.)

I considered his plan and suggested that that would be a good plan, since we had no caulking for the gun.

“What time does the train come?” he asked.

“East bound or west bound?” I enquired.

He shrugged his shoulders and asked: “What do you mean?”

“Well” I continued, “If you don’t know which way the train is going, how can you do the job right?” I suggested matter of fact.

Shrugging his shoulders once again, (He was a real shrugger) he answers: “Eastbound.”

“Wait here while I get a train schedule.” With that request I go upstairs to my room and bring down the train schedule. Returning I corner lover-boy and give him the bad news:

There isn’t a train until tomorrow morning! Can you get to the station at 5:05 am?”

“My life is over, I can’t do anything right!” Dejected he walks off.

It’s a good thing he didn’t say westbound; he would have had to hurry!

The next morning as I went downstairs to check out the basement under orders from mom, I look for bodies but all I found was empty booze bottles, tucked away in the joists in the boiler room!

LES MISERABLES

Produced by: Universal Studios Directed by: Tom Hooper Starring: Hugh Jackman: Jean Valjean · Russell Crowe: Javert · Anne Hathaway: Fantine · Amanda Seyfried: Cosette.

If you are a history buff, love opera, and watching new talent come alive on the screen, then I suggest you go see Les Miserables, if you haven’t already! Last week on a Sunday, I decided to go see the movie for myself, after hearing the rave reviews TLW (The Little Woman) gave it.

 

First off, the movie is so well dedicated to the authenticity of the times it portrays back in the 19^th Century and Paris, during the beginnings of The French Revolution of 1830, also known as the July Revolution, Second French Revolution or Trois Glorieuses in French, saw the overthrow of King Charles X, the French Bourbon monarch, and the ascent of his cousin Louis Philippe, the Duke or Orleans.

The movie itself is completely sung in English, and the job the actors did in carrying it out was incredible. I understand the Russell Crowe was panned for his singing, but frankly the critic who said that should try what he did. Regardless of the publicity Crowe has gotten in the past, his performance was lifting the movie to an art form for sure.

The there was Huge Jackman, as Jean Valjean  a brilliant stage performer turning the flick into a masterpiece, with his voice, acting ability and good looks. One of the best performances I’ve seen by an actor on the silver screen.

But hold your breath for Anne Hathaway, a great talent that captivates you with her magnificent performance, compelling and heart-wrenching role as Fantine, who sets the tone for the story and the rest of the cast.

There are also two child actors who you will suddenly fall in love with for their ability to take over your senses and make for an incredible over 2 hours of performances that you lose track of time.

Go see this movie, it will make you realize just how much talent and good direction was put into a production that is critically acclaimed for its story for over a hundred years now, world wide.

TAKING ON ANOTHER FIGHT

He has a slow gait, doesn’t rush through life: doesn’t even drive fast. The last time I saw the man he was laughing and enjoying his family, friends and well-wishers since his marriage had turn 50 years old!

MAUREEN & STEVE 50 YEARS AGO

Once he used to walk around with a tuning fork, in case he met you on a street and your piano sounded out of tune. He keeps it in his back pocket with the Bible of Macintosh Computers and some spare car parts. He has been called on to give sermons in his priestly garb, a real Father Guido Sarducci, even gave a sermon at his 50^th Wedding Anniversary.

He speaks three languages, English, Italian and his hands, all equally fluent.

This is a man who brings a lot of cheer to the world in the form of help and fun, his face permanently creased from the years of smiling.You can find him in his 'lab' amid his electronics and computers, working for the Navy. He worked for Electric Boat Co. in New London, but forgot to plug it in once!

It is always good to see Steve, he makes us all enjoy his company, he is the brother-in-law of TLW (The Little Woman), her sister Maureen’s husband.

FATHER GUIDO

The other night while we sat quietly at home the phone rang. It was Maureen, and she started her conversation with her sister and then TLW became upset. By the tone of the conversation I could not make out what it was about except that it is dire, or at least potentially. Steve has cancer again, after beating it once: another form has reared its ugly head.

I have been slow to acknowledge it, because I don’t want to believe it, yet I can't seem to hide from it. Having lost my brother-in-law John, this is becoming too commonplace, too often the news, too unfair as it hits good people.

I know he will outlast it, I think he will be shot instead by a young jealous husband before cancer beats him. He will research it, tell you all you need to know about it, deal with it and carry on like it is a flat tire that was fixed. I know that every member of the family is devastated and hurt to know he has the disease, but he will have rock solid prayers and support behind him. He will demonstrate the way to beat cancer with the heart and soul of a good man, a devoted father and loving husband. He will be a model for all the family to look to in times of adversity and have faith that all will turn out well.

Pray for him, he is a good guy, and I need to laugh some.