Sunday, August 18, 2013

DEAR SISTERS:

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Yesterday was a bad day. Yesterday our 95 year-old mother told me more than I needed or wanted to know.

As we all know, her 88-year-old boy toy has been taking very good care of Mom. Measuring out her meds, cooking and helping her with the wash. He goes to the stores and does all her little errands as well as the big ones, like taking her to the doctors. This is good.

Yesterday however, I asked her if her boy-toy was still sleeping over at night to ensure that she is ok overnight, and she said ‘no’. Then she told me something else I was totally unprepared for, totally out of left field, and when she told me I dropped the relay to my brain!

“You know Joe, I don’t know what I’d do without him. He takes very good care of me, we are very good friends, and when the Boy-Toy does stay over it is because of bad weather, I don’t make him go home. Of course at our age we don’t have sex.”

Since she told me that last fact, I won’t and can’t imagine that kind of scenario. I have been losing weight, (11 lbs) and not sleeping well, (all nightmares)! It took about 20 minutes to regain consciousness, and another 20 minutes to gather up all my strength to stand up and run to the toilet to heave!

The reason I am telling you this is because as I now know, you should also. After all, if I am to take care of her affairs (a poor choice of wording here), and keep you advised, you should know EVERYTHING!

If this keeps up, I am seriously asking you each to start contributing to my medical and mental health plans. This is not too much to ask since I am absorbing the initial shocks.

Love,
Your favorite brother under undue stress,

Joe-Joe

7 comments:

Princess Pat said...

I know it's hard to believe our parents ever had SEX but apparently
they did in your case at least 5 times. But at 95 you can stop the
heaving and the nightmares. I'm pretty sure it's all innocent.

Joseph Del Broccolo said...

Of course it is Pat, obviously nothing happens, it's just the thought of it that strikes us all at one time or another, no matter how old we get!

Princess Pat said...

You are so right about that. My
parents never had sex. My brother
and I are the immaculate conception.

Michele DePalo said...

Since I know the "boy-toy" personally, I can assure you that no matter what their age, sex would not have entered into the scenario.

Joseph Del Broccolo said...

Amen, Michele!

mary ann said...

Sounds like you had a real bonding experience! Thanks for sharing!

Joseph Del Broccolo said...

More a surreal experience!