FRIGGIN BINGO!

My lovely neighbor Carol next door got the Hood together for a little Bingo party. It was a dedicated effort by all of us neighbors to reduce the amount of alcohol in the community, some of which she found in her house and to ease the seriousness of it all, to play Bingo while our dedication was being tried.

After a nice little dinner and some chitchat, we got down to the serious business of helping others not get enmeshed in the horrors of having to consume this vile liquid that comes in all forms of the Devil’s work, such as liquid and Jell-O as in Jell-O shots.

Then fully armed we got down to business. There among the gallant were my neighbors Alyson and Richie, Mary Alice, Gemma and Bill, Gail and Timmy and Carol’s beau, John, plus her mother and a few of her friends, and of course, TLW (The Little Woman) and I.

For some reason, the women all retreated to the dining room and the men stayed in the den-kitchen area and the games began. THEY had a nice long dining room table and pretzels and we had a small counter top that separated the kitchen from the den and NO pretzels! That should have said something right there.

The women had without our knowledge, pre-planned our destruction by rigging the playing cards, taking 12 out of 13 games, causing great shame to us guys. I mean how can you lose 12 out of 13 games without it being rigged, all women verses all men especially to a room full of clacking old hens all of who were hell-bent on their husbands humiliation?

To make matters worse and even more humiliating, I was the first caller, and TLW the first winner, not once, but twice! And to put the icing on the cake, here she comes marching over to me, after she won, complaining about how slow I was in calling the game! 

Waving her first prize for winning in my face, a condescending air about her said: "Now you should really try to keep an even pace when calling, you were too slow!" I needed that since the game featured for the caller a small cage filled with little gray balls about half a finger nail size with a tiny weenie really small marking of letter and number, and guys all yelling I’m calling too fast! Hunting down the balls while they fell out of your hand and bounced all over the place, didn’t help the speed of calling either while trying to read the black numbers on gray background in small type.

 

Not one stinking game did I win, not one lousy chance did I have. Oh, the shame, the humiliation and the fact that TLW went home with two prizes! But like I said, I was not alone, as all the husbands won nothing while those old cheating chatterboxes went home with all the money and prizes! There ought to be an investigation! 

And so, on my kitchen table to remind me of what a loser I am: lay two winning prizes, trophies if you will and a sad reminder that we will be playing again, and I will be humiliated once again!