LIFE IS BUT A BUMPER STICKER

It seems to be that people like to express themselves in quick to the point statements, usually on the bumper stickers of their cars. Some of them are profound statements, and some not so profound.

If you have ever been annoyed by a tailgater, then: If you can read this, then I can slam on my brakes and sue you!” has a nice touch.

Then of course you have the jackass in front of you who dreams of world peace or saving the whales and doesn’t seem to be aware of what he is doing: “Forget world peace, visualize turning off your turn signal.”

All too often there is a moron or two, driving along at 20 mph, thinking they are fooling the world, texting while driving, and to them I would have a sticker that says:

”HANG UP AND DRIVE YOU IDIOT!”

Once I was driving and behind a Silver Cloud Rolls Royce, and the sticker that comes to mind is: “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.”

Of course we don’t have to reserve our stickers for the road only. How about this for older people like me: “Ever stop to think and forget to start again?”

The other day I was heading toward my chair in the den, when I must have come in too fast, went to sit and instead the whole chair tilted over sending me sprawling into a corner of which I had some difficulty getting out of. The sticker: “This would be funny if it weren’t happening to me!” came to mind.

Voting? Are you sick of the candidates and what they do, particularly in D.C. and Albany? How about: “If we quit voting, will they go away?”

Had a day of dealing with stupid people? Wish to remain calm, then this sticker is for you: “This sticker exploits illiterates!”

You gained weight and exercised, dieted and starved yourself, but still you gained weight? Then this is for you as it is for me:  “Eat right, exercise and die anyway!”

And finally, you do something stupid yourself, and embarrassingly realize people are watching. How about this sticker: “I haven’t lost my mind, it is on a backup disk somewhere.”