Saturday, November 23, 2013

WHY I NEVER ASPIRE TO GREATNESS


Growing up in a large family, especially one with four sisters as I have, there are certain things you don’t do. You don’t do them because you better not, or you will be shot down.

In my family growing up, there was never any mercy shown for me, the cabal or covenant as you may say, was dedicated to my downfall and destruction. The girls were a closely knitted band of sisters that plotted at an early age.

Often I thought of maybe trying to achieve something of worth, maybe even notoriety, but have always stopped short of starting because I know I would have to pay for any success, and still be ignored by the sisterhood. 

This led to countless encounters of brinkmanship, warlike posturing and secret missions resulting in payback, or just looking to have some fun. 

Many years ago, Tessie, my older sister (much older) was sleeping in as they say one Saturday morning. Mom didn’t drive so Dad had to take her to the supermarket. I got up and was hungry, and decided I would get the cookies and eat some. Mom had a strict rule about the cookies, they were for the kids the younger sisters, so don’t eat them.

I take down a fresh box of chocolate chip cookies and get a butter knife: slowly with great care I separate the flaps so as not to tear them. I then take out a nice handful of cookies and glue the flaps back together and put it away! But revenge for past sins against me still fills my heart. I sacrifice one cookie, sneak into Tessie, my older sister (much older) room and crumple it all over her bed, while she is fast asleep. Returning the now half empty box, I carefully glue the flaps together again, like the box was never opened!

Mom returns home and starts to put the groceries away, and notices the box of cookies I planted right in front of the shelf. She goes to move it and discovers it is too light to be new, and looks at it suspiciously. I am sitting at the kitchen table watching all this stifling a laugh from the whole scene. Mom slams down the box and heads to Tessie, my older sister (much older) bedroom and raises Hell.

Tessie, my older sister (much older) is shocked from her sleep and protests the accusation.

Mom says: “Don’t give me that, your brother would have ripped open the box, this was too neat!”

Once, Dad bought a new color TV console, with radio, record player and TV in one piece of furniture, a state-of-the-art entertainment center. This was our first color TV and so one Saturday he decides to watch TV. The old black and white set was downstairs in the finished basement.

I happened to be in the living room when one of the witches just decides to change the channel! Seeing this I protest, and go to change the channel back again, when suddenly from out of nowhere, all four are attacking me, as I am now fighting for my life. When it was over, my shirt pocket was ripped, my glasses broken and a cut on my neck where I am bleeding. I look for Dad, but he is nowhere to be seem, HE went downstairs to watch the black and white TV!

Then there was the time when Tessie, my older sister (much older) came home from a date one night. Seeing the car pull up, I close my bedroom lights and hide under my bed. Why? I really can’t remember but somehow I knew Tessie, my older sister (much older) would come snooping. Slowly she opens the door to my dark room, and I see her feet as they travel through my bedroom, waiting for her back to be towards me, I jump out from under and let out a howl that has her nearly standing on the ceiling! A proud moment was had by yours truly.

Then in my senior year I was nominated for student council president and came home with the news.

“Hey! I was nominated to run for student council president!”

“Oh yeah! You’re still a jerk.” Said one.

Ah love, so sweet and yet tart!

Joanne, me,  Tessie, Frances and Mary Ann seated is Mom

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