GETTING TO KNOW YOU!

I seem to be spending too much time at the long-term care facility that mom stays at. I have gotten to know the wonderful staff and even a resident or two on a first name basis. For instance there is a 105-year old lady who lives across the hall from mom, and many of the residents who sit out in the hall and watch the world go by or talk to the staff and family in their rooms. I try to smile at them and say good morning, acknowledging their existence.

As I was leaving for home one day, I went down the long hall and turned a corner, and there sat an elderly resident in his wheelchair. The gentleman could hardly talk and seemed somewhat worried, and as I was passing, called me over. He looked like a dignified sort when he was well, with white hair and a long thin torso and legs that said he probably was athletic once.

“Could you help me over to the next area?” (This was where I had just come from.)

Getting behind him and started to push and as we walked I could smell the odor of urine emanating from him. His long legs seemed to get in the way of moving him, as he needed to lift his feet so I could roll him more effortlessly. After a few feet he lifted his feet and we rolled into the next area, where I asked him where he would like to go. Pointing he whispered his destination and I continued to provide him the power for his wheels. As we walked, one of the lovely nurses, by now a friend of mine, stopped us as she passed, asking what was the story. Relating how the gentleman stopped me and asked for the favor, She patted me on the shoulder and smiled, and continued as to say: Carry on old chap!

When we got to the man’s destination, I turned around and headed back to where I had been and it sunk in. Here was this guy, who once may have ran a corporation, or was a professional in some field, maybe a widower, a father and grandfather, old enough to have fought for his country in the greatest generation, asking a stranger for help, his last bit of dignity taken from him and forever gone or so he thought.

I had a chance to help someone. It may not have been much, but it made his day a little easier, and although realizing how much was taken from him, I felt that I helped him uphold his dignity, and in a way paving a road someday for myself that will require some help.

I guess we all will come to a point someday where a hand will reach out for some small favor to us and we will feel this sense of defeat or smallness or even loss of dignity. I bet there are a lot of residents who are angry, feel defeated and saddened that they are at the end of the line.