WATERED DOWN AND NOWHERE TO GO!

It seems I was born too late. Years ago, before TV and radio, before the Internet and Facebook or Tweeter, before the Surgeon General had such sway, lives were 100%.

Then something changed, I got married and suddenly people were telling me what I had better do. For instance: you drank your milk, all of it, why because it was good for you, then suddenly, whole milk was as bad as a shot of whiskey in the morning, you had to water down to only 1%!

Grannies regular diet!

Cheese, a source of something or other was suddenly no-good for you, whole cheese anyway, now you have to get Alpine Lace or whatever, and for what? Cholesterol became a household word, along with fatty acids and don’t touch red meat? Forgetaboutit!

My grandmother would eat steak, whole cheese and drink red wine if she felt like it, and lived to 97 years of age! Would she have lived longer eating the watered down products of today. She always had a pork chop, salami and pepperoni here and there, and she knew how to use them.

Some mighty good sandwich fixings came out of that place

Growing up in Brooklyn, on a Sunday night after the day was near done, Dad would send my older sister Tessie and me (much older) out to a corner deli on Somers Street and Rockaway Avenue for cold cuts, which were immediately placed in Dad’s capable hands where he constructed some of the greatest sandwiches ever made!

Today you need to buy turkey, and it has to be white meat to go with one slice of Alpine Lace on whole wheat bread and mustard. Good God!

Grandma's bags were always packed!

So for the past many years I have high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol, eating watered down products, while grandma met her maker carrying an eggplant parmesan hero under her arm!

Granny was my hero and has one in her pocketbook

Mom is almost 96, and recently I did a quick check of her refrigerator, it looked like an overflow for Costco, filled to the brim with epicurean 100% good old fashion, so called no good for you stuff! She is almost 96 years old.

I’ve seen the practitioners of good health, the runners and the dieters, the people who look gaunt and skeletal, and I think they could use a good meal.

My body is Italian, with parts from Italy carried over by my ancestors: it needs Italian food. Not low-fat mozzarella cheese or ricotta that came from the tap in the kitchen. It needs a good pepperoni that speaks to me and says: “Bring some air freshener with you when you go! And for crying out loud, brush your teeth again!

So, I will go to all my dead long living relatives and tell them they didn’t die correctly, they should have dieted first. After all: If they had lived, they’d be alive today!