VISITING THE DOCTOR…

Takes patience with the patient.

I like an early appointment when it comes to the doctor visits. I try to make my appointments at the latest: 9:30 AM, after that it is a wasted day. I am not always the best patient since I have a low tolerance for doctors. All they ever do is poke around, fill you with drugs and read enthralling descriptions of what was done to you by a recommendation the doctor made to a specialist.

The other morning, I had an appointment with the GP at 9:30 AM, and when I arrived I knew I was in for a wait. It was 15 minutes after the appointed time that I even was called. Then I went another 40 minutes waiting in his examining room. As you wait, you sit on the examining table until your back gives out, then you hop off and start to look around. First, you look out the window, then your eyes scan the room, the counter with the little bottles and Q-tips, the Hazard box and the alcohol dispenser and finally he shows up, all smiles and rested. I had a headache, was in a bad mood and needed my coffee. Since he draws blood every time he sees me, I can't eat or have coffee until the blood is drawn. This, of course, ends with me going to the nearby local McDonald's for a breakfast sandwich and coffee.

Once years ago, as I sat in McDonald's having a post-doctor cholesterol feast, my cell phone rings, and who is it but my doctor told me some bad news about sugar and cholesterol. Fear gripped me and I looked around to make sure there were no noises giving me away as to where I was, bad news and discovery at that particular moment was not a good thing.

Anyway, when the nurse escorts me to the examining room, I can't help but notice how young and beautiful she is, with long black hair, opal eyes and a very sexy figure, (not that I was looking) and my imagination took me to perhaps a Caribbean island or perhaps a beach along the Riviera, (Italian, I want to be near my relatives, they could put us up for free), when she turns to me with her sweet angelic voice, pursed lips and glorious smile and says: "I need you to pee in the cup."

So, after a flu shot and a drawing of 2 vials of my blood by the doctor, I vowed to be more diligent in my intake behaviors and headed to McDonald's for a breakfast sandwich and a much-needed coffee.