CHECKING IN

When I was still working, one of the habits I had was to check in with TLW (The Little Woman) via the telephone, just to see how she was doing. When she went back to work, I didn’t because I didn’t like to disturb her at work.

Now the rolls have been reversed. There is a difference however in what we check for. I always asked three questions: 1) any mail, 2) what’s for dinner, and finally 3) how’s the baby. The last one was for all 4 of my kids.

TLW asks: 1) any interesting mail, and 2) Where is he. That second question is always asked with great urgency. “He” is Son #2, the free spirit, devil may care bon vivant of Avenue C.

Answering her second question usually means conjuring up nightmarish possibilities as to where he might be, what he might be doing, how much he has eaten already, and will the food supply last?

Now that he and I are home together more often, we have to converse more, with #2 Son bringing up all forms of political matter, and humanitarian causes that he champions. I have to endure this, and usually have to answer questions designed to boil my blood, questions that would incite my to physical mayhem upon him, except for the fact that he is TLW’s baby.

My Dad and I would argue straight out, over any political question I brought up. I remember the arguments during the Kennedy/Nixon debates and the run for the Presidency in 1960. Dad happened to be home the day Kennedy was sworn in as President, With Kennedy’s youth I applauded the moment, with his good looks my Mother was thrilled beyond reason, and my Dad, so mad he smacked me right in the back of the head and said: “Oops!”

Now that #2 Son is 19 years of age, he is too old to just smack in the back of the head, no, I have decided to try and find a wife for him to aggravate instead. I have written to all the Irish and Italian newspapers lovelorn columns, offering any young lady the opportunity to have #2 Son move to their perspective country where he will marry her and I will even pay for the wedding! The offer also includes a 46 inch TV with surround sound and a computer.

I would never do this to any American girl because then he would come over for dinner and then eventually move back in with us.