HEY, MISTER?

Sitting in the waiting room of a doctor, I selected a magazine and sat down to begin my long wait for my daughter’s group home to arrive. Ellen, living in a group home found a better life than anything Mom and Dad could provide in terms of growth and stimulus.

As Ellen’s Dad, I like to be present at her doctoring, and advocate for her along with the Agency, the Suffolk Chapter Association for the Help of Retarded Children.

Waiting with my magazine, a young lady and her Mom walked out of the inner offices, and the younger one went straight to the exit. Momma started to call her and angrily told her to sit and wait for her. The young lady complied and sat across from me. As I watched I noticed how beautiful she is, and as she sat looked into my eyes and asked: “Hey, Mister? Why do brain damaged people have a hard time walking?” I gave her an explanation and returned to my magazine. “Hey, Mister? How come brain damaged people walk funny?” Again, I explained to her some reasons. Her Mom was looking over at me nervously, wondering if I was getting annoyed. “Hey Mister? Are brain damaged people happy?” I tried to give her an explanation that she would understand. “Hey Mister, How do brain damaged people get that way?” Once again, I explained how it could happen. Just then, my daughter’s bus arrived, as I happened to glance out the office window. I was wishing to introduce this beautiful young lady to my daughter, but as I was about to say something, the Momma thanked me and they left.

As I sat waiting for my brain-damaged daughter, I realized the young woman was asking all the right questions! There is a saying in the agency that we use to explain that the people being served may be smarter than given credit for. It goes: “Hey, I may be retarded, but I’m not stupid.”

I wondered if this young beautiful stranger was really asking those questions, or was I asking myself, and had to patiently explain it to me.