THERE WAS A TIME

It is strange the human condition. We never miss what we never had, but if something is taken away from us, we will. We have our health, then one day we become ill, and we miss what we took for granted. How often do we wish things were the way they used to be? We never take stock for what we have and say: “Thanks!” No, we are not contented to recognize what good fortune is, until it is gone. Yet, we lament the loss, and are not grateful for the moments when we had it.

One of the goals of this blogue is to recognize when people do meaningful things, for others and for themselves. All too often, I hear about this or that person, as they lay in their final resting place, and how wonderful they really were. I never had the chance to say; “thanks” or “I appreciate your being”, or quietly doing something kind for them.

Thirty years ago today, a little boy was born, and I celebrated with TLW (The Little Woman), and my two children, the birth of that little boy. He was with us only a short while, and when he left us, a little bit of us left with him. His name was Joseph Michael, and people said that it looked like someone had cut my head off as a little child and put it on him! He looked so much like me!

Every year at this time, we remember him, and sadness overcomes me, like a grey curtain, descending down in a sad, quiet finality, I think of what could have been. A poet once wrote: “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: It might have been.” I see someone his age, and I think, “That could be my son.” All through the past 28 years, whenever I see saw someone his age, I remembered him. I miss him.

I look around me now, and I think how lucky I am to have known him! What was meant to be, will be. In spite of all his imperfections, he was loved as he loved. We knew no boundaries: those were happy days in trying times even as he slowly died. He is gone, but not his memory.

For all my children there are no boundaries when it comes to love. TLW and me both feel that way. We give and forgive. That is what parents will do. If you are a parent, I know that is what you do. If you are married, and you truly love your spouse, it is the same condition.

On my property, there sits a little garden. I built this garden myself. It is in memory of that little boy. It is Joseph’s Garden. I go there and I think of him. I will be there, rain or shine today, and I will remember him. But don’t feel sorry for me, I knew him then, and I still know him now. I will visit his grave today, and I will swing over to visit the grave of two other little children I know, Brandon and Thomas, my nephews. It is now the two brothers garden too. And it is for any child that suffered or will suffer. I will celebrate their lives, the joy they gave and the love that lent it self to all that knew them.

Please remember my brother-in-law John, and all those that need our hopes and prayers.