BE ITALIAN, OR JUST DANCE LIKE ONE!

Vieni a ballare, o altro!

Years ago, when I was a young pup, I worked for an ad agency that had the Barbizon School of Modeling for a client. We wrote a headline for its’ catalogue and ads that read: “BE A MODEL, OR JUST LOOK LIKE ONE!”

As Columbus Day approaches, I volunteered to sign up people for the ‘Italian’ dance held at the church. All the coordinator asked is that I show up at one or two masses, sign up list in hand and perhaps help set up the dance the night it is scheduled.

Of course, nothing I do should be ho-hum, so I started to plot a way to call attention to myself and sell a lot of tickets, after all, my feeling is either pray, or get off the kneeler, if you know what I mean. So, what came to mind but that great headline: “BE A MODEL, OR JUST LOOK LIKE ONE!” Except, I would substitute the word ‘Italian’ for ‘Model.’ Then I decided that ‘Look’ wasn’t right, I needed to make it more original and choose ‘Dance’ instead.

Then I would need to look Italian. I have a couple of hats that signify the Italian bent. One is the baseball cap #1 Son gave me, with the “I” on it for the Italian World Cup baseball team. When I wear it, people ask: “What does the ‘I’ stand for?” I like to tell them that it is short for ‘Me’. I have a few that come from various ‘Little Italy communities’ from around the country, Like the two in New York, the one in Boston and Philadelphia. Those hats say: “Italia” and I would place it on the table, next to my flag, and that would give the parishioners an idea.

Of course, I have my Italian flag, it is a small desktop type, and I could bring that, all to help me sell the tickets.

But I need more than flags and hats and banners. I need to say ‘Dance” in plain old English! I could draw a picture of a couple doing the Tarantella, or a hit man stomping on someone’s head with a caption, “Don’t miss our dance-or else.”

Mom will be so proud of me!