PEEKABOO, I SEE YOU!

Being among other things, I am also hearing impaired. This is political correctness for deaf! But I am not politically correct, so I’m deaf. I SAID I’M DEAF!

For a little while now, I’ve been looking for some kind of help in hearing the dialogue on the TV. It seems the marble industry is doing a big business with actors and commentators, who are stuffing the marbles in their mouths because marbles taste so good. Coupled with the overpowering background music that obliterates the dialogue, I can’t understand a word they say sometimes. I SAID: I CAN’T UNDERSTAND A WORD THEY SAY!

Anyway, I found this thing called: “TV EARS” that you put on your ears and it helps you to disagree with the commentators. Now it seems I have more reasons to make fun of Larry King! I found TV EARS in my hearing aid store, where it is prominently displayed. I was told you could purchase it on the Internet.

TLW (The Little Woman), and the lover of my life, promptly went on the Internet to find it, and sure enough found a place, locally that sold them. She is of the opinion that if she doesn’t do it; probably it will be done later. Writing down the address, I set my GPS and start out.

As I cruise along Carlton Avenue, the lady in the box, A.K.A. ‘The bitch in the box’ informs me to turn at Bishop McGann Drive. I turn as instructed (it is a woman’s voice, after all) and drive through the parking lot, where the GPS announces that I should now get back on Carlton Avenue! Huh? Or is that Huh!

I get back on the road and the GPS starts yelling at me (it is a woman’s voice, after all) and directs me to make a u-turn, after each and every intersection I come to! My thinking is that there is another address down the road that is similar, and I will find it. NO SUCH LUCK! I said: NO SUCH LUCK! I turn around and head back, now the GPS is telling me that it is on my right, directly across the street from Bishop Mc Gann Drive!

I can’t find the building, and I know it is a large building because there is a suite number, 3900. I decide to go home, and drive off. Being very smart, (after all, I married TLW) I pull over and call the place. (Two things here; 1) I practiced traffic safety by pulling over, and B) TLW told me to take down the phone number “Just in case.”)

The Place: “Hello, The Place You Are Looking For:”
Me: “Yes, where are you located?
The Place: “#20 Carlton Avenue.”
Me: Well, I can’t find you”
The Place: “Well, where are you?”
Me: “Right here.”
The Place: ?????
Me: Is there a land mark you can give me to find it?”
The Place: There is a little sign on the lawn that states: “Bagels and sandwiches at the Deli. You turn there at Hoppins Avenue, make an immediate left turn into the parking lot.”

The place is behind four or five story tall trees, that completely obscure the view from the road! I find the Hoppins road on my GPS, who all along is now yelling: “Recalculating, make a u-turn, I SAID; RECALCULATING, MAKE A U-TURN!”

Me: “Very funny! TLW is right, you are a bitch!”

I said: "VERY FUN..." ah, never mind.