WELL, I’M ON TIME!

Every three months, I go to my primary care physician, pictured. I hate going, because usually I have to wait with a bunch of sick and unhappy people in the waiting room. Of course, most of the people, and usually all of the people, are older than me, waiting. I often wonder how old they were when they first arrived, and how old I’ll be when I leave. It seems the doctor is always running behind, and I am at least a half-hour behind my scheduled appointment before I am called. Then I wait even longer for the doctor in the examining room!

Back in August, when I made the appointment for this month, I decided I would be the first patient. “9:30 AM, Thursday the fifth” said the scheduler. I walked out feeling empowered, in charge of my own destiny, I would beat the Doctor at his own game!

I arrive a few minutes earlier than the scheduled time, and have to wait outside the building: they hadn’t unlocked the doors yet! Oh yes, in and out in no time! That would be me, a model of: time savings!

Finally, they open the doors. I enter the empty office and report to the desk. The receptionist asks the usual questions and I take a seat. On the dot, at 9:30 AM, on November 5th, 2009, I am called into the examining room! Strolling in with a sense of triumph, I head for the toilet to give them a sample of my urine. (I wonder when they will finally buy one? I think) and head to the examining room and sit on the table. The nurse sticks the thermometer in my mouth and disappears. Yes, it is all going as planned: I am running on time!

The nurse returns, pulls out the thermometer and announces: “The doctor is running late, he hasn’t arrived yet! He’ll be with you in a moment.”