Last night I was bringing my daughter back to her home when I met an old friend of TLW (The Little Woman) and mine named Jack. Like us, Jack and his wife have a daughter with developmental disabilities like ours, she lives in an ICF (Intermediate Care Facility), and like us he and his wife care very much for and about their child. Jack is in his late 70’s and carries his burden in his face, as his age takes over his being.
As he was leaving the building with his wife, and I had pulled up I could see that they looked a little down. I decided to get his attention and say hello, and ask about his daughter. From the look on his and her faces, devastation had set in, once again. Parents like us have to deal with the possibilities of having a fragile child and bad news.
I asked about their health and they asked about mine. Then I asked about his daughter. For the first time his wife spoke up. “More tumors on her leg!” she offered. Funny how news like that can hit you. You think; “Thank God my daughter doesn’t have that!” then you feel guilty about thinking it.
“I’m so sorry!”
Jack looked up for the first time, and said: “Well, THIS time they got a great doctor, he’ll nip it in the bud!”
Somehow it didn’t convince me, so I said what I should have; “Good Jack, they have some great doctors these days.” We turned to go our own ways, and as I looked back at him and his wife, the mother of his daughter, a child of 51 in crises from the day she was born, and I hugged my daughter very close and very long.
With children like ours, we can’t afford to worry about tomorrow; we need to embrace the present moments that we have with them.
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