WHAT DIES FIRST?

There is that old question of: what came first, the chicken or the egg. It has been lingering around for many years and indeed, I once used it in a speech in Yorktown Pa. before the Direct Marketing Association convention.

The question seems to be arising in disguise this time.

My sister Tess and I were planning for the traditional Christmas Eve feast that many Italian families have of seven fish. Being Italy is a sea-faring nation, fish is a big part of their diet, and the seven comes from the: 7 hills of Rome. My grandparents brought that tradition over when they landed at Ellis Island. It was probably one of the greatest gifts, aside from their journey to this country, that they gave their children and grandchildren.

Tessie has taken on the tradition from my mother who at 93 will settle for a tuna sandwich on rye as long as she doesn’t have to cook anymore. My sister and I love the tradition, and looked forward to it since childhood. What the tradition really means to us is family. Getting together and keeping in touch with our sibs, cousins and aunts and uncles. Of course that has changed as we got older and now it is our children, and nieces and nephews.

This year sadly we will change the tradition a bit! Instead of cooking we will cater the Christmas Eve dinner. This is an unheard of departure form our beloved tradition, but Tess is getting tired as she approaches a rather big numbered birthday, and she also has a husband who is ill at the moment.

In catering, we have lost our personal touch, our statement that says we love each other, so we bother. That is the cooking aspect; the fish symbolizes our heritage and reminds us of our grandparents and the risks they took to come to this country, not knowing the language.

We still have the fish, without our touch, but we also have the most important ingredient in this celebration, each other. That we will hold onto for all our lives. What traditions are broken will be broken, but not forgotten and will dwell in our collective hearts.

I think like all families, we can have disagreements, but we do love one another, and that settles any dispute that may arise.

So to the family, to the friends we love to have join us, I know I am saddened and sorry we are changing. But walk into the house that evening, smell the food, see the lights of Christmas, and feel the true love that abounds in our hearts. Behind every greeting will be a genuine happiness that you are there, and that we will love having you, and will love you forever for joining us.

But to get back to the original question; What dies first, the person or the tradition, the chicken or the egg?