THAT OLD CONVERSATION MAKER

Prescription drugs.

Once, a very long time ago, I was a young man. I used to talk about 401k’s, my children, my career, my life was filled with plans. When I met with my peers, it was business or each other that we spoke of, the laughter pouring out of us over a lunch or drinks somewhere.

Then one day I got the idea that maybe I was getting old! You know, that condition that takes over and never leaves? It usually starts when the kids all leave high school and leave you the bills for college. Along with the bills comes creeping arthritis (Dad called it authorities).

As you can see she is quite a bit older!

The other day I was with my older sister (much older) Tess as we were visiting Mom at the rehab center. Mom was her usual happy self, (I was afraid I was going to have to get a band-aid for her chin it was sooo long with happiness about being there, it might scrap the ground).

“Hi Ma, how you feeling?”

“All right, I want to go home. I’m bored and tired of this place!”

“Now Ma, you know this is your ticket to independence, you need to finish up the program and then you go home.”

My older sister Tessie (much older) says: “They decided to keep her here a few extra days!”

“I’m sick of this place.”

“Now Ma, if you don’t get strong enough to leave, you can’t stay alone. As it is we are getting you help overnight, and Henry will be with you during the day!”

“But I’m bored, and I don’t like the food.”

And so it goes every day at every visit.

Looking to change the subject it hits me, I’ll talk about that old standby: prescription drugs. I open the conversation and Henry immediately jumps in, offering his take on what he takes. Tess, my older sister (much older) adds her two cents a pill in little brown bottles to the conversation, and suddenly, along with my collection, we have covered the whole realm of pharmaceutical snacks and treats! But something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong! I think about it and realize, Mom is 94, sitting in this wheel chair across the table from me, and mad because she has to do more rehab than she originally thought. SHE DOESN’T TAKE ANY DRUGS!

Well Ma, you just rehab yourself out of that old wheelchair, but leave the cushion because I’m going to need it!