WHAT’S IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?

Last week on the same day, Mom got in the mail 2 letters: both were from the US Census, with a warning of arrest if she didn’t open and respond to one of them! One letter stated a questionnaire was coming and one WAS the questionnaire.

Now I think it odd that the Census Bureau would send out something in 2014 instead of 2020, but then my speculation would be 20/20 hindsight.

My first inclination was to avoid answering except for the threat on the outer envelope stating “Under penalty of law” if I failed to answer. Of course, Mom would go to jail, and then they would have to feed and house her, and finish the Medicaid application. That intrigued me a bit. Then there was the request that she fill out the questionnaire on line. Mom doesn’t own a computer and knows nothing about them, since she is 96 years old, can’t use either hand and can’t stand up. Jail sure was on the horizon for Mom.

As I read the instructions, it stated that the questionnaire would take about 40 minutes. 40 minutes is a long time, too much time for me, since I have to check my Facebook page and e-mails. Not answering was becoming a possibility, except for one thing: I was curious what they could possibly want in that questionnaire.

When you go on line you need to have an ID number that is in the notice they sent and a pin number they give you. This is because the site keeps knocking you off every 15 minutes, so you have to re-enter everything and pickup where you left off.

The questions were about who lives in the household, how much they make and if they own any property that the government should know about, along with if they are citizens, and what national origin they are. In other words, the government was snooping. They claim that it is for future planning for new bridges, and roads, that need to be built in Bellport and how much corn they should grow for the growing population. They have the fertilizer in the questionnaire, so they must be planting already!

I answered the questionnaire, and now am waiting for the Census police to arrest Mom. I think she may go quietly to jail, but don’t bet on it, I still suspect she is hiding a wooden spoon under the covers in her bed, waiting for the opportunity to surprise me, and maybe the government.