Monday, September 08, 2014

I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED?


After the excitement of the new grandchild I have, the lovely and precious La Principessa (Darby Shea), I got to thinking about my lineage and the fact that people came over here from the “other side” as they used to say. Yes, Grandpa Joe and Grandma Frances along with Grandpa Vito all came from the other side.

But what would have happened if they left it up to me to cross the ‘Pond” as they say today? Would there even be a family here? I am not a good traveler. In fact I hate to travel. If I have to go on a plane, I get crossed almost immediately. It used to be worse, with the shoes and belt, but now I don’t have to do that anymore! Apparently I travel so often now that it is not an issue, I’m harmless, not a terrorist. That plus the fact that I am no longer a 4th grader has made the world safer in the eyes of the Homeland Security.

Now I can find trouble just by standing there, or anywhere and sometimes go out of my way in getting into trouble. Of course there are secrets out there that the world at large keeps from me and that is where it all begins. For instance, in Newark Airport, there is no tram to take to the plane, but there is one from the plane to the area where the hotel shuttle will pick us up. We were told to go to P4 to get the shuttle back to the hotel. I look for P4, see signs that say P4 and ask an airport guide where is P4? He’s pointing at a tram, how the hell should I know it’s a tram: you have to tell me.

To complicate matters sometimes I don’t hear too well. Give a crowded room, a PA system that mumbles and the need to pee: this is not a good mix. I never pass up a free toilet if I can help it, because as sure as I just went, put on the seat belt waiting to take off, I have to go! I wonder if it is psychological because it is a long flight?

I look good!
Assuming it is 1910, and I’m standing on the pier in Genoa, waiting to get aboard the Madonna which is waiting to go to America. I like thousands of other Italians, I want to have a better life and I don’t seem to be doing well in sunny Italy, so the boat. I’m going to miss my pasta, eggplant Parmesan and meatballs with sausages, and don’t forget the pesto and that leggy babe down at the Caffe’ Roma.

Apprehension reigns supremely as I stand there. I’ll miss my family, hometown and that leggy babe down at the Caffe’ Roma. I’m going to a place where they don’t speak Italian, and will my education as a poet be recognized? Here is a sample of my work:

Mamma Mia
Datza big boat!
I go to sea a
I hope it can float!

So you see there is all that talent going overseas, and a waste of talent, no?

Then I have to spend some time on the boat: fortunately I’ll be able to find the dining room, with this Italian nose. But once I go through customs, if I find it and they don’t send me to P4 I'll have to find TLW (The Little Woman), and how will I propose when she doesn’t speak Italian, or isn’t even born yet?

Nope, I’ll leave it to my grandparents.


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