THIS IS ME!

You know it's not always about me, just when I got into trouble.

"Mom, he's looking at me!"
"Joseph, stop looking at your sister!"
"Mom, he's still looking at me!"
"Then go somewhere else."

That was a usual conversation that involved me. Notice that I was called either; ‘Him' or ‘Joseph'. Joseph was the formal form of ‘You are one step away from the wooden spoon'.

As the years went on, things started to change, I got married, my kids were, for the most part, good, and then one day, after a search of over 40 years, I found the perfect chair for me. For years, I had envied my father-in-law's easy chair, it was the right height and the distance from the back of the knees was just right, I could never find that. Then one day I did!

Then came birthdays and Christmas, the days of my easy chair became not-so-easy! TLW (the Little Woman) decided that I needed protection for the material that covered the chair and so purchased a cover. It was a nice cover, brown to go with the complexion of the chair rather than gray to go with my complexion. This worked fine until it became a little threadbare, looking tired and shabby, to the point that no one could tell if the cover was the cover or me! When she served a cup of coffee to the chair and I was in the bathroom, she decided I needed a new cover.

Then one day, through the miracle of the Internet, there sat on my favorite chair, a new cover. And just like the old cover it was brown for the same reasons, to distinguish when I was in the chair and when I wasn't. The problem is the new cover refuses to stay put. Sometimes it runs under my butt when I sit, sometimes it drags down over my head, it has a mind of its own. If that isn't enough, #2 Son for Christmas, buys me a chair caddy. Now a chair caddy is a wonderful idea. What it does is goes on the arm of the easy chair, and has pockets that sit off of both sides of the arm. You put things like remotes, the other remotes, a bag of pistachio nuts, an appointment book, a notebook and various business cards. IT HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN TOO! It must be influenced by the cover. As I get up to go to the bathroom/refrigerator/liquor cabinet, it jumps off the armrest crashing into the floor! But I don't mind because both the cover and the caddy are gifts that I appreciate, aI just have to learn how to sit and get up!

When I return to the chair, I have to straighten out the cover, pick up all the stuff that fell out of the caddy, put the caddy back in position, return the stuff and get a lecture from TLW about how I need to counter=balance the weight so that the heavy stuff is sitting inside on the chair. After all this I need a nap, so I sit in my chair, knocking over the caddy and having the back of the chair cover ride over my eyes once again!