CHOO-CHOO SLAM

Uncle Tony was the shorter man with Aunt Angie and their best man

Many years ago, I went to aa party with my then fiancé, the Little Woman (TLC)

The party was at my aunt's house and was loaded down with many Italian immigrants who came to this country to raise a family and make themselves Americanized. These people were my grandmother and aunts and uncles who all spoke two languages, Italian and Broken, mangled English. To prove their mettle, they could also curse in two languages: Italian and Broken, mangled English.

As the party went along midway through the night, there were two characters in particular that were playing, one was fire and the other gasoline, AKA; Mary and Tony. Aunt Mary was a non-stop talker in two languages, Italian and Broken, mangled English, accompanied by the fasted sign language ever spoken. Uncle Tony was not married to Aunt Mary but was the husband of my Aunt Angie who jointly owned the children and the mortgage on this field of dreams. Both could swear in Italian and Broken, mangled English.

Aunt Mary loved to talk and talk she did, as I was mesmerized by the manual ballet her hands performed, expressing herself so eloquently. By a show of her hands, she could stress a point, name someone a son of a bitch and tell you how happy she was for you. She was cool.

Aunt Mary was one of these short ladies that did everything quickly, and you better be on your toes or you fell into her whirlwind. She was my Godmother's niece and had two children, a lot older than I was. Everything was done quickly, she ate fast, worked fast and talked fast.

Aunt Mary came to this country from Naples early in her life, I think in her teens and grew up in my Grandmother's home. She was treated like a daughter and sister in the household. Dad also had a sister Angie,

Uncle Tony was my favorite uncle on my father's side. He was a kind man, who loved his wife and did whatever she demanded of him. He had a little bit of a drinking problem, and once said that Patchogue was a great little drinking town with a fishing problem. He was not educated and had a menial job in a local syrup company and would give us free gallons of coke syrup, which Mom used to remedy upset stomachs.

As parties go, a game was needed, something to liven up the proceedings and interrupt the yelling. The game of choice was Choo-Choo, a game where one becomes an engine and tags someone, to hitch up and follow the engine to the next room out of sight. People are added as the game goes on. It would become one of the greatest train wrecks of the century. As the ‘train' pulls into the station, the person before the last online says "ALL ABOARD" and smacks the last person on the line. This happened to each person who joins the ‘train'.

Well, as you would have it, Aunt Mary, who isn't too fond of Uncle Tony decided to tag him, because he was the only one left to tag who was playing. Off they go and all I hear is commotion going on.

"ALL ABOARD!" SMACK!

"Why you sonnamabitcher" SMACK!

Uncle Tony didn't get the rules of the game!