Funny, how
when we lose our parents they never really leave us. All the years of parental
love and devotion came in examples and sayings that seemed embedded in us.
Mom was a
teacher, while Dad was more of a demonstrator. The difference was a night and
day... Mom had things to say: “The way you make your bed, is the way you sleep
in it.” To this day, although I understand the context, I still can’t see it in
my mind! Every morning when I make the bed, careful to fluff the pillows, keep
the sheets straight and the bedspread turned neatly, everything hurts when I
got up!
Dad, like I
said, was a demonstrator, which I quickly learned could be to my advantage.
“OK, now
here’s what you have to do. Take the brush and dab it into the can of paint,
don’t jam a whole lot of paint on the brush and gently dab it along the ring
and apply like this.”
Out I go,
and of course, my mind would wander, rather than just do as he said and get it
over with, I would start out very slow, and sweep over the same spot a few
times and outcomes dads.
“Give me
that brush, Fongoola!”
He then
immediately paints the wall, all of it, the other three walls, the ceiling and
the next-door neighbor’s whole house, inside and out, trim and all, giving me a
dialogue while he demonstrates the art of house painting. “Here like this, then
you gather it like this and then…”
Mom never
demonstrated, she took out a wooden spoon, which insured that I would do the
task right, only once and to her satisfaction. Mom said Dad never listened to
her, she was right.
When Mom
wanted to discipline, she used “MM Gentle Persuasion”. One would think kind,
gentle prodding, perhaps with a firm attitude. No: that is what I named her
wooden spoon. She used to get my cooperation or attention with the instrument.
I named all her wooden spoons through the years. There was; “The MM Kind and
Firm”, one of her favorites, “MM Or Else”, and the ever-present “MM
De-aggregator” and of course, the “MM Terminator” which lasted for a LONG time.
You must be
wondering what the ‘MM’ designation stands for. It was my want to name her
spoons like the US Navy named their ships. “MM” stands for “Momma Mia’s.”
Before she
passed, I thought ‘Why not present her with an “Official” golden wooden spoon;
just like the one I gave her for her 75th birthday, but with a Plaque with the
inscription: “To Moms everywhere. For Pasta and Obedience, as long as both are
needed. The MM Gentle Persuasion II. With Love While Still In Pain, Your
Favorite Son.”
I was her
only son.
To the day
she died, whenever she bought a new wooden spoon, she would come to my house to
hit me with it, just to be sure she had quality and hadn’t lost her touch, and
remind me that I was not too big or too old to get hit by her.
Some of
mom’s favorite usage of the King’s English to help me get on the same page as
Mom:
“WAIT, JUST
WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!
“WAIT UNTIL
YOUR FATHER GETS HOME”
“WAIT UNTIL
YOU HAVE CHILDREN!”
And my
favorite…
“I HOPE YOU
HAVE A CHILD JUST LIKE YOU!!!”
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