Friday, August 17, 2018

YOU HAVEN’T ARRIVED UNTIL YOU GET ONE OF THESE!


It’s nice to come home one night from a distant trip to find this little card on your front door handle. I know my heart was warmed when my wife casually mentioned that our gas was shut off.

Since she pays the bills I knew this wouldn’t be my fault, but hers. This meant I would have to prepare a speech immediately on the value and merit of being on time, paying our debts when required and overlaying it all with a sense that perhaps I’M superior in my punctuality in life.

As I began to formulate this great lecture I noticed TLW (The Little Woman) was not too concerned, almost nonchalant about the whole situation. I was quickly losing my enthusiasm in this whole affair and decided instead to save myself any embarrassment by not pursuing it further other than to ask:

“What happened?” (Here I am prepared to be directed to go shit in my hat, something she learned from her mamma as a wee lassie.)

“They must have been working in the neighborhood and needed to shut off our gas, we weren’t home so left us a note.

I hate when these things happen; after all, I have too few moments of self-righteousness, superior feelings of worth or the sense that I can lecture her, and still live let alone save another baseball cap!

The card left us an option to call and get immediate service from the gas company. It is late in the evening but we all anyway since we need the stove to cook breakfast. When you don’t have gas the next morning it means either you missed a meal or the gas line is out, and going to a deli or restaurant for breakfast is unacceptable. We are informed that a service person will be out sometime this evening, and to be prepared.

Around a quarter to 9 pm, one shows up, he will turn on the gas and will have to check every appliance that used gas before he will do so, but first, he needs to spend about 45 minutes outside to d something that I have no idea what it is.

When he is done he comes to the door and says: “OK”, and do I know why he is here and what happened that my gas is off!

My gas company is quite a gas company, it gives me gas and then it gives me gas.

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