It was the usual scenario, we needed something that cost
over $100 and we vowed not to buy the first thing we saw. That is our mantra,
our motto, our dream.
I needed a new chair for my den, I wanted a swivel rocker
and recliner, I wanted everything. If it had white walls and a 4-speed that
would be cool too.
So the first place we go to is LAZY BOY, the king of
recliners. As I get out of the car, TLW (The Little Woman) says: don’t look at anyone
in the eye since the store is empty, just walk straight ahead and look
disinterested. We enter the store and before the door behind us closes, there
is a swarm, all with their cheerful faces, all offering assistance if I should
need any. We thank all and Frank, the salesman with sincerity approaches us and
says he will be available if we have any questions. It turns out Frank is a
multi-talented salesman who will assist us without questions too.
We go down the aisles, looking and sitting in various
recliners, and not finding anything. I wanted something that will caress my
tush, make love to my backside, a butt kisser. Actually all I wanted was a seat
that wasn’t so long it left a space in my lower back to the backrest. Frank,
the salesman with sincerity suddenly appears and starts to ask questions like:
what am I looking for, have I ever owned a Lazy Boy before and he can show us
around.
Breaking down, I tell Frank everything, I don’t hold back. I
want this and I want that and I want it or else. He looks at me and says he has
a chair I’m looking for at a bargain rate! Good God almighty, I have found my
savior!
Frank takes me to the chair of my dreams, well fitted to my
butt, not too long in the seat and it swivels, rocks and reclines, all that I
want! THANK YOU JESUS!!!
Frank has scored a coup, and decides to do the paper work,
by sitting in my recliner and smoozing about life, grandchildren and anything
else we could talk about. WE have broken our vow: once again we have bought the
first thing we see!
“Now this chair you are buying offers a replacement
guarantee for the fabric. Say you spill pizza face down on the arm, you call
and we will come down and fix it for you or replace the whole fabric!” (How the
hell does he know I will spill pizza of all things?) He was looking at me when
he said that! God I hate Frank!
And so, I have broken the basic tenet of shopping, the rules
of TLW retail hunting and feel dirty, but I did get the chair I wanted. Life is
good, thank you Frank, you putz. (Pizza indeed.)
Address: 1231 Taft Hwy, Signal
Mountain, TN 37377
Phone:(423) 886-6943
Hours: Open today · 10:00 am – 6:00 pm
DO YOU WATCH THE BIG
BANG THEORY?
You should
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