DelBloggolo: NOW I KNOW

Monday, December 29, 2014

NOW I KNOW

To all you housewives who work and care for your family, I salute you. Being how God has called me to serve beyond my capacity, I have discovered that it ain’t easy being a good housewife. There are all kinds of housewives, the good ones who work all day, and some without complaining too much and the bad bom boms eating ones who do very little and lay on the couch.

When TLW (The Little Woman) hurt herself, I stepped forward to fill in and do what I needed to make things as normal as possible. It meant doing the unthinkable, housework that would require all the things I did and the little secret things that she did without telling me about.

I have developed new techniques for doing these things that never occurred to TLW that you could do. Dancing to the rthym of Motown as I sweep across the floor, climbing the scales of hi-operatic intonation as I wash the dishes and even doing the Limbo Rock by myself with a broom. (This causes severe back pain and a shortage of blood to the brain that has reduced me to this present state.

As your basic run of the mill husband, to step up meant that I needed to prepare myself psychologically, to be able to complain that ‘she never listens’, and somehow find a way to win an argument but be right and convincing. Tough tasks if you ask me.

The cleaning, cooking and shopping, the maintenance of the house, the banking and the laundry have all fallen under my domain, with the singular attitude that TLW is watching me, like a hawk as she wonders: Will that damned old fool ever do it right?

Of course this all sounds easy, but there is still one more thing we need to do, and that is taking care of my patient, the one that lives with me, and can figure out nice ways to motivate me when she needs things done, all legitimate, directing her big baby to the tasks at hand. “Joe I hate to bother you but…” is her mantra, the driving force behind my dedication to my vows as a husband/’wife’ and service to TLW.

And so as the new year approaches, you will find me behind a mop, cleaning and washing and maybe even sewing and mending, because of the word that keeps popping out of my mouth: “Darn”. Let’s hope there are not too many socks to do at once.