I SAW HER STANDING THERE

You have all seen her standing there. She’s usually about 5’4” tall, sometimes thin as a rail, and totally bored out of her mind. She is just 17 or 18 and has an ingrown hostility that she harbors for anyone not cool, or over the age of 30. She can hardly speak or write, and the last time she smiled in public she was about 12 years old. I’m talking about that little girl behind the counter, the one who is in customer service, the one that should greet you with a smile and act like she’s interested in helping you.

I go into a sandwich shop, look at the menu, unsure of what I want because of the many choices. There behind the counter stands Ms.Wanda Iwonderwhy, salesgirl and franchise representative, public relation’s best foot forward, our public school tax dollars at work, ready to take my order. Well almost ready. First we need to get her attention. I look at her; she is looking at the ceiling, hoping I go away so she doesn’t have to make this sale.

Ms. Iwonderwhy finally looks at me and says: “Yes?”
I think, “Great, we are building a relationship!”
I say: “I’d like a Tuscan Sandwich.” she counters with both a long face and a question; “You want the roll or the ciabatta bread?”
“Ciabatta bread.”
“You want an old one or a new one?”
“Huh?? Uh a new one, I don’t like anything that is lying around for a few days.
She looks at me annoyed and says “THE OLD ONE IS THE WAY WE USED TO MAKE THE SANDWICH, YOU WANT THAT ONE OR THE NEW WAY?”
Suddenly our relationship is reaching a newer and higher plain, one of mutual understanding.
“What’s the difference?”
“Well look at the ad on the wall and it tells you.”
That’s what I like in a relationship, honesty, and total disclosure.
“Give me the old way, the meat is probably fresher.”
Without another word, she walks away, looking bored, as she slinks toward the meat pile to assemble the sandwich. I watch her closely, taking care that she doesn’t spit in the sandwich.

I firmly believe that before Ms. Iwonderwhy leaves this Earth, she will have either become a traffic maid, work for the MVD, or a prison guard at some women’s facility in a upstate New York jailhouse.