SHE’S AT IT AGAIN

I’m seriously thinking of applying for sainthood. The pepperbox that lives with me never sleeps like regular people should. The Little Woman arises at 3:45 am everyday, and immediately swings into action. Clean a house, maybe a room, or if you like, a garage.

One morning about 6:30 I awaken and go to the toilet with every intention of returning back to the sack to continue my long night’s journey into daybreak as only I know how. My mistake is I should never look up as I go from one room to another. Silly me, I notice something going on, some activity that I know spells my doom. Sure enough, there she is in my son’s room, busily furrowing around in one little corner. I should have dropped the idea of the toilet and ran back to bed, but no, her magical powers have gravitated me to see what she could possible be doing at this hour.

She bought an air-conditioner for my son’s room that is portable and comes with many parts. She happily sees that I am awake and decides to make it a family affair. The Little Woman recruits my son from his sound sleep and off we go downstairs to carry up this very heavy piece of equipment that is only portable because it has wheels. It weights about as much as I do; only I’m prettier! We haul it up two sets of stairs and down the long hallway to where the prodigy spends most of his time when not working or in school.

I think to myself “Ah, done, I’ll go back to what I was doing, sleeping.” I climb into bed, feel the nice air-conditioning that is working in my bedroom, (he had a fan which he was happy with) and close my eyes. I feel the bed cave downward, I am of course afraid to open my eyes. Stupid me, I do and what do I see? No, not Santa but the Little Woman with a Cheshire cat’s grin as she leans down looking at me.

“What!!!??”

“He-He”

“Whaaaaaaat??????”

“We need to put it together”

Out of my bed I go, and march down the hall once again.

The parts are arrayed before me, challenging parts, part that an engineer and scientific team on vacation from NASA should be looking at, not an old guy about to retire. We discuss the project, we read, we get confused, we figure it out, I go back to bed. I lay there 5 seconds and it dawns on me, I never went to the toilet!