MERRIAM-WEBSTER, FORGETABOUTIT

Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary is now coming out with 100 new words to add to its collection. These are words that people are using in their vocabulary to express in creative ways, without using the hundreds of thousands of perfectly legitimate words already in the book. Words or phrases such as: “mouse potato, computer geek (is there any other kind?) unibrow, soul patch and biodiesel” are all new expressions coming out of our society.

Not being one to want to stop progress, but since the late 1970’s with the invention of the word “humongous” a stupid word if I ever heard one, these types of new words seem to be popping up, and seem to be useless. I would think that soon ordinary conversations are going to be rather foreign to my poor ears as I try to decipher what the hell people mean in years too come.

Fortunately I have translators such as #1 and #2 sons who use this kind of vernacular to some degree, or at the least are out there to understand it better than I can. #1 son and I used to go to church together in the old days when he lived at home. Being on the cutting edge that he was, #1 son introduced me to the concept of “Suits”, meaning someone who had to deliver or maintain an important job or deliver an important message. When we entered the church we would scan for “suits” to see if there was anyone lingering around in a suit, which meant that that person was going to deliver some kind of appeal or address after the service. If #1 son or I saw such an individual we would make a “Bee line” to the door after communion. Yes, I was a bad influence on my child.

Here is a sentence I would imagine would evolve in the months to come, that will be sanctioned by Merriam-Webster:

“Hey, cool soul patch, where did you find the minutes for a mouse potato?

“Hey chill, (most sentences will start with “hey”.)

“Yo, blueberry me.

Of course this is only what I think is right around the corner, most of what I just wrote I’m not even sure I know what the hell I said.

If you want to know what all this means, just “google it”, and leave me alone.

If you would like to respond to this or any article I write, e-mail me at delgraphics@optonline.net