HELLO, I’M MR. FIXIT, BUILDIT, OR IMPROVISE IT.

Yes I am a man of many hats, that all fall under the guise of “Husband.” My job is to bring my truck for large purchases, load them, assemble and throw out the old stuff.

TLW (The Little Woman) decides all the domestic issues such as: what we buy, what we throw out, what we eat, and what I say. I decide the more important issues such as do we support dogs or cats, do we like France, and do we wish to continue recognizing Red China. As you can see I am very important.

Yesterday I put together a new coffee table for our den, something not too expensive that we could mess up without feeling bad. TLW went off to work and I proceeded to erect this thing of domestic beauty, which weights about as much as the rest of the furniture combined, and has enough parts to recreate a rollercoaster.

I took out the instructions, laid out all the pieces and took a rest. (No need overextending myself). To successfully complete this task I realized I would need a dish, a spoon and a box of cereal. Once this was accomplished, I decided to take a break and eat what was in the dish, as I pour a little milk into it and in a cup of coffee. (No need to overwork myself.)

I was really ready to begin when I decided that I needed to go the bathroom. I figured that since I was going there I should grab the morning newspaper and read it to catch up on the day’s current events, being fully prepared to have an intelligent conversation with even Senator Hilary Clinton if need be. (I can multi-task with the best of them.)

That completed, I looked at the instructions again and decided to take an aspirin since my hair hurt, and I like to rest after all the bad news in the morning edition. (Being up on current events and physical comfort are all-important to me.)

As I figured out all the tools I would need, calculating it all on paper so as not to waste any time, (I’m a stickler), I got a Philips screwdriver and sat in my easy chair so I could read the first instruction to begin. Then it hit me, I better get this down on my blog!

Well it’s all your fault that the damn table isn’t put together yet! Thank you very much.