THE BROTHERHOOD

There are few words that scare me more than the words: “I need you to come with me to the mall to look for a dress.” These words mean that we will be walking for long distances, from store to store, all of them packed with women pecking through the vast numbers of racks, through the latest styles, all disappointing of course, with me trudging along, dutifully answering all questions, standing aside as she pokes and slides dress after dress.

Usually I stand to one side stuffed in a corner surrounded by racks of dresses and discover suddenly she has disappeared, and I spend many minutes looking for her, marveling on how quickly she has vanished into thin mall air.

Macy’s is the start, but we check out any and all women’s departments in all the stores in the mall. I follow behind, head down, shuffling along, not saying anything but listening to whatever she has to say. Who is she? Why TLW (The Little
Woman), of course.

But I look around me and I see hundreds of men in the same position, and in the same condition, dutifully following their wives, being led almost by the nose, all because they want their supper too. THIS IS THE BROTHERHOOD, of which I speak.

All men at some point in their pathetic lives join the brotherhood. If you are an unmarried man and are or are about to become engaged, it is incumbent upon you to test drive that little woman in a mall situation to see what you are getting into for the rest of your life!

There are many reasons why a dress is not right in the ladies mind. Don’t ask her why: just accept the fact. “I hate sleeveless dresses”, why? None of our business is the answer. “I hate this style”, again: none of your business.

So what have we got here? We have The Brotherhood, legions of men, wandering behind their better half, following dutifully, sometimes carrying pocketbooks or packages, with their heads down, shuffling their feet, wondering how much each step is costing the family treasury, all because they want their supper!

Some men never come back, and no one ever sees or hears from them again.

How sad.