SIMPLE LOVE

This is an ongoing story. It is an ongoing story of simple, tender love, love so uncomplicated one cannot understand it.

As you may or may not know, my daughter Ellen lives in a special home for people with mental disabilities. She is 36 years of age. She cannot speak, or even do a simple task. She is a happy person, who when she entered this world, suffered from brain damage. Her brain damage has been some of the baggage that her Mother and I must carry. Her burden is far greater than I could ever carry.

By nature, Ellen is always happy, unless you try to tell her what to do. Then you will get a fight! Oh, I almost forgot, DON’T EVER TRY TO HOLD HER DOWN! I tired once at a hospital where I was helping to get a brain scan of Ellen. Her strength is such that I couldn’t move my arms from the strain of trying to hold her. The look in her eyes said to me: “Daddy, why are you doing this?” That look still haunts me. So does the strain of holding her down.

Whenever we go to visit her home in Shoreham, Long Island, we find her sitting quietly with her favorite person at the home. His name is Stanly, an adult in his mid forties. He sits next to her just as quietly, and together they are contented. I don’t know how much interaction there is, but apparently Ellen loves Stanly in a platonic and innocent way. When she goes home from a visit with us, or her day program, she looks for Stanly, and sits next to him. You might say they look like an old married couple, who say little, but the silence belies their love.

Sunday, TLW (The Little Woman) brought Ellen home to our house for dinner, and said that Stanly was in the hospital. Ellen doesn’t understand the concept of hospitalization, all she knows is that Stanly is missing.
The staff at Ellen’s home say; that they find Ellen lying on Stanleys’ bed, because she misses him!