TRIALS IN THE BORED ROOM

If it’s the last Tuesday of the month, it must be the Board of Director’s night!

Off I go to the meeting of the Board of Directors of AHRC Suffolk, packet of minutes and reports in hand. Tonight is extra long, because there is a Budget and Finance meeting one and a half hours before our regular meeting. Being a veteran of the meeting room for twenty years, I know what this means.

In a large conference room, with a twenty some odd foot conference table, lines shoulder to shoulder with chairs I quietly sit in attendance in my customary chair. Greeting a few of my fellow board members and staff, I await the inevitable. Number people! They are coming! I have to pay attention! Oh, God! I’m an artist, what am I doing here?

The number people arrive, a young lady and a gentleman, both dressed very appropriately for such solemnity. The meeting is called to order, and the first of many budget reports is thrown out on the table to be read out loud. I look at the report, then the ones to follow. I am sinking deep into a depression! No one will be able to pull me out of this! No one.

I get a cup of coffee; this should help me stay awake. (Not the caffeine, the idea of not spilling it) The young lady sits next to me. She does most of the reading: I do most of the dozing. Reading, dozing, reading, dozing, like dancers swaying to the music.

Finally, as my head starts to weave like a punch drunk boxer, my eyes glazed, she goes for the knock out punch! She starts to give a line-by-line detailed analysis of what each number means. How can she do this? I mean, I’m trying to rest my eyes, she’s sitting next to me, the balance of the Budget and Finance Committee‘s eyes are directed toward her, and she is calling attention to herself!

Then it suddenly hits me! These people are using some kind of technique to look interested, and me being me, don’t know about it! The young lady has a nice steady, one level cadence. Her voice never rises, never lowers, and keeps saying: “I won’t go into the details of this.” I wonder to myself: “WHAT THE HELL DID SHE JUST DO, THEN?”

Finally, by the grace of God, she stops! “Are there any questions?” I think to myself: “Yes, just one. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?” We all agree, “No-there are no questions, it works for us.”

After this display of fiscal appreciation on my part, the regular meeting convenes. WE WILL GO OVER, ALL AGAIN, FOR THOSE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD WHO ARE NOT MEMBERS OF THE BUDGET AND FINANCE COMMITTEE, THE SAME REPORT! AGAIN. In earnest! Again!

Here is the scary part. I remember most of it! It somehow reached my brain, which I though was impossible since I was sitting on it.

Please remember my brother-in-law, John, and all those that need our hopes and prayers.