IT’S COVERED

I finished my newspaper, and started to plan my day. The first thing on the docket and the thing that TLW (The Little Woman) wanted done was the installation of a new hood for over the stove. Having purchased a new stainless steel stove, TLW didn’t like the perfectly good hood we had because it didn’t match. I suggested that she hold out her hands, and notice that they don’t match either, but it was no dice, put up a new hood.

I started by covering the stove, so not to damage anything during installation, got the new hood out and my tools. Once I take out my tools, TLW immediately gravitates toward the toolbox, always has, and always will. She likes to ‘help’, reading instructions, taking out her own tools (usually a butter knife) and telling me how to do it. We usually get into a discussion about how to do something that we both agree on, we just state it differently, so we can confuse each other!

I started to unscrew the first of four corner screws when the dog decided it was time to go out. I stopped, let her out and went back to the screwing. I was screwing around and TLW was approving of it! As started to re-screw when the dog barked, she was ready to come in. I stopped what I was doing and opened the door and gave her a treat. Back to screwing I went, this time on the rest of the screws and the removal of the hood. As I was in the middle of removing the hood, about halfway, I decided I needed to go to the bathroom. Stopping in mid removal, I retreated to my office and conducted business. Returning to the job, TLW was side by side with me, as we struggled to undo the old hood. Once we undid the mounting, TLW decided it was time for her to visit the office and she excused herself.

Once she returned, we undid the wiring and disconnected everything that needed disconnecting. It was at this time that the dog needed to go out again! Thoughts went through my mind of wiring the dog to the wall, turning on the electricity to check it out and perhaps, just perhaps get something done without having to give out treats.

TLW, in her element had the instruction book opened and decided to be the foreman on the job. Having read the instructions myself, she announced what I needed to do. Yes, the dog needed to come back in; the wiring was hanging outside the wall for the fan and lights, and looking very tempting. Instead I resisted and got another treat for the dog.

At this point in time, the new hood was put up on the stove so we could start to assemble and mount. Of course, like any project, the dog needed to go out, I had to go to into the garage for more tools, and TLW now needed to answer the phone. As we all returned, the dog had her treat, the phone was answered and I had my tool, we read some more of the instructions. Something about a blower wheel, a retaining ring and motor slots, all needed to be coordinated in one movement, while holding up the hood, letting the dog out, having to get a larger screw driver and listening to the instructions.

Once we rewired the hood, let the dog out and went to the bathroom, answered the phone, found the missing screws and heard some more instructions, and let the dog in, fed her a treat, and decided not to wire myself to the wall, we mounted the hood!

We were finally done! The dog disappeared, there were no more instructions to discuss, our bladders were empty and no one wanted to speak to us on the phone.

I guarantee you, if I had another project, the mutt would reappear, the phone would ring, we all would need the toilet and the instructions would once again need explaining.