I got a call from the Macaroni Man that his fiancé Kim’s dad had passed away, suddenly!
Kim is a very sweet woman that makes my nephew happy, has a good sense of humor, and is a hard worker at a bank. On occasion she will visit us when the Macaroni Man is watching the game with me.
It got me to thinking about the demise of anyone, and how much we miss him or her once they are gone. We never say how much we are glad to see them when they are alive, but die just once, and you will never hear it. Probably the only thing that can sustain us in pain, sickness, poverty and any sadness is the words: “I love you.” Those words are short, quick to say words, which have a lot of strength in them. They are words of appreciation that seem to somehow have died. Why are they so hard to say? I am lucky, my sisters have used that phrase: “I love you” to me, and I use it to them. I don’t say it enough to my wife or sisters or Mom, or my children.
Sometimes saying words can be meaningless. Actions indeed speak louder. Just witness my wife, and you can understand. TLW (The Little Woman) is a silent lover. She loves by her actions and reinforces the love with more action. There are thoughtful things that she does, not necessarily loud or big or attention getting. But at the end of the day they leave an imprint as to where she has been!
One of the hardest things to do is visit the bereaved, yet in their sadness, they need to be consoled, need to be assured, and they need to assure us that it is OK to infringe on their time. How hard I find it to enter a home or funeral parlor to offer my condolences, the only thing I want is to remove their pain. But in situations like that, I feel inadequate in the ability to do so. I feel like an interloper, an infringement that has to be endured by the bereaved. Yet I have a heavy heart for those that greave.
The good news is that the sun shines in all its glory the next day! People will keep memories alive, and will go on with their lives, long afterwards. That is good, it is indeed time that heals, time will always go on, and so we go on too.
2 comments:
When the deceased is old, and has had a long, happy life, it's a bit easier, especially when families fill the funeral home with photos of the person in happier times, and talk and laugh about their memories of the lost loved one, it's almost theraputic for the family. When a young person passes, it's much, much harder.
When we lose someone who has left tiny footprints in our hearts, we grieve. I think that our grief is not so much for the one we have lost, but for ourselves because we will miss them so much in our life.
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