Recently my good buddy Jim wrote on his blog (http://spaldeendreams.blogspot.com/) about children going outside to play. I immediately think of the latest phenomenon “Play dates.”Getting children together is now an appointed thing! You schedule his/her playtime. You work it into a schedule, and arrange for playtime.
Well here I go.
WHEN I WAS A KID, WE WENT OUTSIDE AND PLAYED.
Mom was busy cleaning the house, Dad was working, and sis was with her friends, doing what I did, playing. Mom didn’t care what I was playing, as long as the cops stayed away, Dad could care less what I was playing, unless it was with dolls (toys).
“Come Algonquin, we have to schedule a play date for Tuesday next week. Let’s see, I can fit you in between your hockey practice at 2:00 pm, and your little league practice at 4:00 pm! That doesn’t leave mommy much time, but we’ll manage somehow. Make sure you bring your e-toys marked ‘Tuesday’ to play with Jeremiah!”
OR-
Two kids happen to see each other in school:
“Eh (They don’t really call each other by name now) Dude! I’ll have my Mom will call your mom, how ‘bout Tuesday, next week?”
That is probably the conversations you would hear today.
“GO PLAY OUT SIDE! AND MAKE SURE YOU GET HOME IN TIME FOR DINNER, DON’T MAKE ME CALL YOU! IF YOU ARE LATE, I AM NOT HOLDING DINNER, DOYOUUNDERSTANDME??????”
That was my mom speaking, 55 years ago, just a few days before Mother’s Day! She was always softening up before Mother’s Day!
Play dates! And you wonder why kids have such social problems today.
When I roamed the streets and alleys of Brooklyn, we found our friends and what moved us is what we played. Stick ball, stoop ball, ring-a-leevio, tag, red light green light, all this without equipment, without organization, without supervision! Just the code of the streets! We found our own fun, unscheduled by doting parents.
If a parent scheduled anything for us, it was usually a lecture on why I was sending mom to an early grave, how she prayed I would have children just like me, and that I should: “Be ashamed of myself”, look at what I was doing to her, and to wait until my father got home, for further discussion, punishment, and or a one-way ticket out.
Playing on the streets of Brooklyn or the sidewalks (concrete) was reserved for sunny days and the weather hovering at 32 degrees or higher, while indoors meant the hall or steps of an apartment, waiting for the rain to stop, or the temperature to rise above freezing.
Our toys consisted of sawed off broom handles for bats, rubber spaldeens (balls), sometimes found off of a roof top, which made them hard as rocks, marbles, bottle caps and skates, while sis had jump ropes, yoyo’s and hula hoops, dolls and skates! We didn’t own bycicles!
Fun was all day. Non-stop, we played until dark, when it dawned on us we had better check in with Mom, and do our homework!
So in essence what I’m saying is: we were independent, self reliant, and responsible for ourselves, and our amusements.
4 comments:
Thanks for the plug Joe. We didn't know it back then but our "play" was teaching us life skills like improvisation (all games had to cost nothing); coping (stopping the stickball game to let traffic pass); getting along with others (if you were good, you got picked when sides were chosen, regardless of race, color or creed); and sportsmanship (having a soda together at the candy store regardless of who won or lost). Like us, today's kids know how to have fun, if only their parents would get out of the way.
WELL, HERE I GO!!!
I think that it is a sad comment on our society that the world has become such a mean and threatening place that today's parents have had to succumb to the practice of supervising their children 24 hours a day.
It has become a harsh, mistrustful world that steals children from their own homes (their bedroom, no less), abuses them, imprisons them in a world of drugs and prostitution, brutally murders them, mutilates their bodies and buries them where the parents will never find them so they might say a final goodbye and give tham a proper, dignified burial.
In other situations, children have been physically and sexually abused by trusted members of their own family, school staff, sport coach, church leaders,and health providers.
Do you think that there are still
"safe" places to live? Look around. Elementary, middle and high schools are mandated to have emergency lockdown drills in case strangers are suspected of wandering around in the building. There's R rated radio music, videos,tv shows, tv commercials, magazine advertisements,the internet, billboard signs, movie ads and posters that are not appropriate for kids.
Children today are not learning the skills we did as youngsters, when we were able to wander off for hours at a time to find friends to play with. They are not learning to be independent, self reliant or creative in play. If they don't come home for dinner, terrified parents call the police. If they do come home late, the parents are grateful to see them still alive! It is a very sad situation.
But today's parents would be accused of child neglect if they were to allow their kids to wander off to places unknown without a plan that included a specific time frame and another adult's constant watchful eye. Parents are the
1st suspects when a child is harmed or missing from their own home. The parents are guilty until proven innocent while being publically displayed in every form of news media.
Today's children have to learn a new set of rules that tries to protect them from harm's way, but that results in the sacrifice of their ability to learn social skills, problem solving, become responsible for themselves and to find their own means of amusing themselves. Can we really fault the parents?
Angela
Dear SSIL,
You have made some great points, all of which I agree with with. Too bad children can't be children!
It is sad that children can't be children without all of the fear of a PREY date. Thanks for your reply. I know you wrote the piece half serious and half with a sense of humor but it just hit me hard how scary things are today for kids,their parents and other people trying their best to protect them.
Your loyal reader,
SS-I-L
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