I sat in my easy chair, a cup of coffee in my hand, when I happened to notice that TLW (THE LITTLE WOMAN) was missing. It was her day off, so I figured she probably left me for another guy (A young stud) and turned the page to my newspaper, an interesting article on job growth.
Suddenly, the sliding door came alive and there entered TLW, an inquisitive look on her face.
“It is such a beautiful day, not hot and no humidity! Would you help me in the yard today?”
Me: “Sure.” (Where are those young studs when you need them?)
The labor gang of one was assigned his duties, and given a set of tools, began the process of penal colony reform for an inmate. (Me)
The warden, or wardenese, patrolled the area where I worked, no, toiled, and made comments and suggestions at the end of a shotgun and the leash of a vicious dog. Spurring me on to work harder, the crack of her whip, assailing my bare back, I began weeding, and pulling out weeds where they appeared.
“You didn’t put any Preem down the last time you weeded! That is why there are more weeds.” Crack of the whip.
Me: “Yes, dear”
“The last time you weeded, you left the little piles, are you going to pick them up THIS time?” Crack of the whip.
Me: Trembling, “Yes, dear.” Crack of the whip.
Me: “But you told me to make #2 Son pick them up! You said you would tell him.” Crack of the whip.
The sun hung high in the noonday sky, and my lips were parched and my back bleeding, my hands calloused. Suddenly the warden shouted out from her lounge chair.
“OK, everyone back to your cell, I’m getting tired and hungry.”
I filed back into my cell, single file, and lay in my easy chair.
Suddenly. Over the PA boomed her voice once again!
“You will report back to work on Monday, when I have another day off, so I can finish working on my tan!”
She’s one tough lady!
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