OH, THE HUMIDITY!

A few years ago I was watching a ballgame on TV. Being we had a very large screen, what normally is missed can be caught if you look for it, or even if you don’t! TLW (The Little Woman) happened to be in the room with me and observed a very common occurrence that she commented on.

“Why do all the players spit? Look at that, they keep spitting, that’s disgusting!”

“Oh! Really now? You don’t know much about baseball.”

“What do you mean, why do they constantly have to spit?”

“Well, for your information, they get paid the most, if they do spit. They are known as a 6-tool player.”

“A 6 tool player?”

“Yes, they get paid by how much natural ability they have. For instance, a 4-tool player may only make 5 million dollars a year, while a 6-tool player gets 10 million dollars a year.”

Snickering, she asked what tools were needed.

“Well a player who can hit, hit with power, run, catch, steal a base AND spit, is considered a 6-tool player. Spitting is a very important part of his repertoire!”

“How is that important?”

“Well, in spite (not spit) of your skepticism dear lady, spitting is making a statement to the other team! It’s saying: I don’t care what you try to do to make me look bad, I will beat with my 5 other tools.”

She was beginning to be skeptical, so I pursued it a little further.

“For instance, the pitcher throws his best pitch, a slider going 98 mph, with mustard on it and a whipplerly drop, and the batter hits it for a single. The batter, standing on first base with his hands on his hips will spit, stating: I can hit anything you throw at me. This usually results in the pitcher spitting back, stating: “Oh yeah, well wait for the next time up, let’s see how good you are?”

“And this is said all in the spitting?”

“Yes indeed! One of the things big league coaches and managers look for is chapped lips. If the player has chapped lips, he is probably a spitter, and chances are he will develop into a 6-tool player, his potential is unlimited, as is his earning and value to the team and himself! They see a guy who is gutsy, determined, hard to beat, then he is known as a ‘real spitter’. Another case in point, Major League Baseball has banned the hardest pitch to hit in baseball, you know what it is called?”

“No, but you will tell me.”

“The spitball or spitter”

“You mean they spit on the ball?”

“They USED to spit on the ball, not anymore, it was making the sport; too manly!”