I COULD HAVE SWORN!

It was the 8:30 Mass, and they were all there in spite of the bad weather.

There was the lady that occupied the same pew as us, TLW (The Little Woman), and there was the young lady and her sister who always arrive after the priest, and even the couple across the way that the husband stares at everyone from boredom, and of course there was me, who should be left in the church after everyone has left, with the hope that I can become saintly.

There was also the little Spanish lady, very devout and very prayerful. She was here on a day when it wasn’t safe to walk because of the ice and snow that fell on the ground the night before. True devotion!

I looked at my watch as the priest gave his homily, and saw that it would soon be breakfast time as soon as he shut up, and got on with things.

I noticed that the little Spanish lady was now sporting a cane, and I thought how sad, that she needed it and was still walking to church with it. Surely God would forgive her for not coming anymore. (A great excuse if ever I saw one!)

Suddenly the priest departed the pulpit, went back to business as usual, while I’m sure giving up on me once again, and started his litany of prayers. But just as suddenly, the little Spanish lady reached for her cane. Just as suddenly, I found myself in silent, controlled hysterics! From my angel, she looked like she was using the cane to scratch her rear-end! Yes, sticking the cane behind her behind, and jerking it up and down, while looking up at the priest.

Holding in my laughter from this comical sight, it suddenly came together when she abruptly got the cane free from her coat to lay it down on the seat behind her. It seems the cane was caught on her coat as she tried to place in behind her on the pew! What I thought I saw was not the case!

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Church – stupid just figured it out.