I happened to have a little garden. Nothing special grew there, just some weeds and little plants that the birds dropped while flying around. The garden had perfect dimensions, in that the length was about 50 to 60 feet, and about 6 inches wide. No, that is not a mistake, 6 inches wide. It happened to be my gutters on my front lower roof of my house.
Today I had a tree trimmer come to the house and remove a lot of branches that seemed to suddenly be sitting over the roof line of my house, causing me to fear that a squirrel would nest in my attic. When the branches were removed, there stood the garden! Three different trees contributed to the coverage, and it now explains why my home was so cool in the dead of summer!
Someone had to now climb a ladder and clean out the gutters. Who could that be?
I got out good old Uncle Eddie’s ladder, and laid it next to the house. Suddenly, the roofline was getting higher. Taking a plastic bag and a rubber glove, I take on the first rung and think: “Is this a good idea?” I think: there are plenty of old guys who climb onto their roof, so get your sissy ass moving and climb,”
Slowly I climb, one rung at a time, the ground getting further and further away from me, I try not to look down, but the ladder tends to bend inward as I climb. I think about past diets, and envision the undertaker trying to close the lid down on me and having to cut a hole in the top so it will shut. Did I need all that ice cream? Didn’t I realize that someday, this day would come and I would have to climb a ladder to clean gutters?
I get to the top, and now have to climb off the ladder and get on the roof, a very awkward thing to do on a slanted roof. I feel the footing is not very steady and my balance is suspect. I take baby steps and move very slowly, lowering myself to the roof without losing my balance. I look out over the roofline down to the ground and think which bones I will break when I go tumbling off.
I decide to survive this attempt, I need to crawl along the roof, or at least drag my ass along and scoop out a hand filled at a time. Balance is still a problem as I don’t want to get too close to the edge, slip and go falling off, cracking open my skull to reveal a family secret: there is nothing in it!
The beads of sweat start to pour, little bugs flick on my arm nose and face. I can’t respond to any of it too quickly, fear is taking over.
Finally I am done, and realize getting up on the roof is easier than getting back on the ladder and going down the first few steps! Edging back to the ladder, I make a few awkward attempt, getting my foot stuck in the rung at one point. Slowly I head down, imagining the ladder sliding away to my right with me on it. No one is home, TLW (The Little Woman) is working, #2 Son is working, and I decided to do this by myself. NOBODY IS HOME! I could be lying there for hours, waiting for someone to come and get an ambulance.
I can see the grave marker:
“HERE LIES J. DELBLOGGOLO,
BECAUSE OF SQUIRRELS AND GARDENS."
3 comments:
Climbing on the roof...bad idea. That's what sons are for.
Climbing up the ladder is a bad idea, especially if you aren’t used to it. But it’s a good thing that you had the initiative to clean your gutter. If it is not that urgent, try finding someone who can help you out, or wait for your son to come back. A clogged gutter can be troublesome and can cause major damage to your roof and house, but safety is still the number one priority.
It is quite true what Rolf said. It is good that you want to have a clean gutter, having another person to help you can make sure that all is in good hands. Even expert roofers consider safety as the main priority. When working, they have safety gloves, hard hats, and sometimes even have a harness when they are up high. So it would be better if you should be thinking the same too. Just be careful next time, and have somebody to help.
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